#like sorry disclaimer this is old tradition disclaimer yes it looks similar disclaimer yes we used to microtwist and lay edges and in the

[magnoliamyrrh]

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[sofiadragon]

I love your hp fashion post! I have a question: what do you think is popular for teenager girls/young women to wear in the 90s? How does it differ from muggles? Would they have incorporate muggle fashion trends into their outfits? And is that a thing you would usually see younger wizards doing?

Thank you!

Ok, this requires me to sit at my PC to type. Got me out of bed and off my phone to make tea and type while I'm sick.

Obligatory link to the post in question.

Fashion is Political

Fashion in the 70's, 80's, and 90's was hugely political both in the UK and USA. Goths, punks, preps... It was an entire identity. I didn't paint my nails black, dye my brown hair with translucent red or purple highligts, and wear mesh layers just for the aesthetic, it was an entire philosophy that had political, moral, and social ideas baked into the culture those clothes represented. When I wore a yellow sundress, a hat that hid the highlights, and stripped the color from my nails to visit certain relatives it was because that was a Sundown Town and the ideas represented by the counter-culture I belonged to very well could get me hurt when walking around alone. Yes, I look entirely white (got some Japanese but so far back it doesn't show, and I'm basically French and Bulgarian) but that kind of conservatism didn't (and still doesn't) take kindly to those who support the queers, freaks, and weirdos.

And it's still true, if not quite as much as it used to be. Social cliques still dress alike, but it isn't as quietly political the same way it was then. People don't seem to associate fashion with a political statement using style as much as they use modesty and cleanliness, but it could be that I've just become Officially Old now that I've got a stripe of white in my hair. It seems a bit more on the nose these days, or more accurately on the head. I have a lovely bright red knit newsboy hat I had to stop wearing around 2016-17.

Yeah, but so what?

Fashion changes over time, so let's start with some 1970's makeovers and work our way to the 90's!

The Marauders Prequel: Kinktomato, and all the similar disclaimers, but I respectfully disagree entirely with giving Sirius, James, or any of the other marauders a Punk aesthetic. Sorry JKR, but what you have James and Sirius wear in your prequel needs a tweak. Sure, they wanted to fight against 'traditionalists' which sounds like it's punk... until you realize that the Light was the status quo before Tom came to power. The Order of the Phoenix is a vigilante group working to protect the Establishment and prevent change. Yes, realizing that while reading the 7th book hurt me in my heart too.

I have to throw JKR a bone about her recent nonsense, but she's right in the manner of a broken clock that the rebellious counter-culture going on in the Wizarding World was being backed by the Traditional Family Values set. The politics in the Wizarding World do not match up well with the real world, mostly because if you think too much about it the political aims of the Death Eaters implode. For blood purity, leader is a half-blood who hates the rich and treats the high society types with deep contempt; were not in power and had to have a guerrilla movement, members included half the House of Lords. You can't square those circles, so we get the Light Preppy types like the Marauders and the Dark Preppy types like Draco Malfoy, and then we have the punks and the goths who are the outcasts and queers that get indoctrinated into one or the other set. Don't blame me, I didn't write the books.

The Marauders should look a bit like The Monkees.

James and Sirius were not in with the queers and freaks, they did not read dark poetry in black clothing with sharp lines and heavy makeup that obscured bruises, they were Preppy Jocks and bullies picking on the outsiders. Remus Lupin might be 'one of the good people' who got wizard AIDS, but he's at best masking to fit in with a powerful social group for protection. The black leather with the rocker band t-shirts look? No, no. Put that boy in a polo shirt and chinos. Give him a cable-knit sweater or a blazer over a robe. (And many people do give these things to Professor Lupin, but I mean from the jump.) They'd all be clean-cut, perfectly groomed, and wearing light colors because their political movement is literally called The Light. Black T-shirts with a phoenix on them? No ma'am. White or yellow shirt, embroidered (or screen print to look like embroidery) phoenix. Yellow blazer jacket on top with creamy muggle trousers in a high-water boot cut to show off expensive white or tan boots. (The high-water boot cut on the trousers are muggle 1960's, but wizards lag behind on muggle trends.)

Moving on to the Dark Side

Snape's our punk, or maybe a broody goth gremlin reading poetry books. All via thrift-shop [charity shop] finds, of course. The set of upper-class future Death Eaters he eventually starts to hang out with would have started out in clean-cut expensive dark-colored robes, but might have embraced a morbid aesthetic, as we see Bellatrix wear in the movies. This would be a case of convergent evolution in a sense.

Snape dressed like that due to the poverty and muggle influences in his life, and I headcanon that he liked to visit a record shop and stim his autistic brain with niche experimental music just like I used to at that age, but the morbid and shocking aspects of Goth or Punk aesthetics parallel with Voledmort's completely unrelated skull and snake symbol inspiring trends among his more loyal followers, who are rich enough to be trend setters and social influencers.

Snape very well might have made friends with those awful boys because they liked the casual clothes he started to wear on weekends once his mum started tossing some money at him and telling him to get his own shopping done so she could get back to her crossword puzzle (or maybe he got a summer job at a bakery.) Snape chose that look because if he's styled punk (violent) or goth (morbid) the rips his father puts in his clothes when he gets tossed around are there on purpose and it's just a nice coincidence that the stains in the second-hand clothes he gets on clearance at the charity shop get hidden by the cheap black dye he uses to get that grey and black look. This way, it is not just because he can't afford better and washes both himself and his clothing in the same portable tin washtub.

This convergence was accidental, but the artfully tattered cloaks and general look of the Death Eaters in the movies is something I can get behind - minus the Victorian trousers on the men, of course. The movies make the clothes way too muggle especially for the pure-blood set! Regulus Black spent nearly a hundred galleons getting a robe made of the finest linen and fur, snipped and cut so artfully to look like it was moth-eaten and torn even though every edge is properly hemmed and trimmed with a bit of lace that merely looks like a frayed edge.

Then Voldemort got Blown up

Look, the actress has red hair and a preppy lavender top - it's too perfect a reference image for Lily Potter nee Evans in a fashion post.

The morbid aesthetic that was so popular in the late 70's doesn't just go out of fashion, it is jettisoned like the toothbrush mustache. Yeeted from a seaside cliff. Dropped in a ditch full of burning petrol. Abandoned at the side of the road in a bag. Morbid? Don't know her.

Draco Malfoy, as I earlier teased, wears the fashion of the Dark upper class. Flowing perfectly tailored robes with a rope belt. Crisp and clean lines, no jagged edges or anything to even suggest aggression. 90's pure-blood fashion is soft. For the girls, more color, but we are going to backpedal so hard nobody will ever think we were associated with that guy we don't name. Draco Malfoy's non-uniform robes are like spun clouds, opulent and decadent in beautiful pristine velvet, shining satin, and resplendent metallic embroidery. While Snape and the generation of men older than him now wear waistcoats over their robes to look proper and all buttoned up, Draco's set is all about looking sleek, clean, and comfortably ready for a dramatic breeze. I don't think there is a large difference between what boys and girls wear, the gendering is all in the accessories and embellishments. Lace for girls, metallic piping for boys.

I'm talking flowy, I'm feeling swishy, I'm saying that 'looks like a dress' was a completely fair take from Harry's perspective. Yes the above characters are female and Frieren herself wears a lot of white, but you get the idea. The Dark Lord is dead, we need a rebrand yesterday. More lighter colors even for Dark-aligned [read:Tory, Conservative] families. No evil here! Nope, nope nope.

Harry is a Self-fulfilling Prophesy in More Ways than One

Harry accidentally has a hand in this trend in his earlier years, since he is wearing Dudley's castoffs and he's incredibly famous. Baggy is in! Just relax, chill, be comfortable. Dress like you just don't care what you look like. (You know, pandemic style.) He wears jeans, and probably most of his bottoms are jeans. They are one of the most durable things any boy Dudley's age would wear, and so wouldn't be as destroyed as the rest of his wardrobe by the time Harry got his hands on it no matter how hard Duds is on the trendy fast fashion clothing Petunia buys him. Petunia, a social climber, is set on making sure her family looks like the next rung up on the social ladder after all.

Later, when we can assume Harry has bought at least one wizard outfit that isn't his school uniform if he's got enough money on hand to buy Omnoculars, he's probably taken his fashion cues from himself indirectly. He likely gets his advice from Hermione and Ron, who get their fashion sense from looking at their peers, who get their fashion sense from... the trend of super casual heavily muggle-influenced baggy clothing in mismatched colors that Harry started as a first year.

Bit harder to find male examples than female ones, but that's fashion gifs on Tumblr.

Shorter robes with jeans underneath - or knee-high socks or dhoti style trousers in blue heather fabric that look like jeans provided you have never seen jeans before in your life. Open, short robes over closed-front ones, aping an overlarge muggle jacket over a robe. Floppy shapeless clothes held on with an overlarge leather belt. Squashy hand-knit jumpers. Girls in the Lighter political side also take cues from muggle women's fashion, which is more form-fitting than traditional wixan wear and shows off the legs. In the muggle world, this is the time of the babydoll dress, slim-cut trousers/jeans, and tightly tailored suit skirts for women.

Imagine way, way, way more gold embroidery on the above dresses.

And, because I can, because it's headcanon time, 90's Indian/ Bollywood fashion influence on the Light side after James Potter is martyred because #Indian Harry Potter is real and I love him. Music, clothing, art, it is in style among those who honor James and Lily's sacrifice. Harry's green eyes looks so bright next to chestnut brown skin. He can speak to snakes because his ancestry includes a bit of naga blood, not because of the Horcrux. Petunia certainly never taught him about it, and he's confused when an especially devoted fan sends him blessings addressed to Hindu gods instead of the Christian or pagan ones he hears about more often at Hogwarts. One of the Patil twins asks him what's wrong with him expecting, from his attitude and excitement about Christmas, that he's a devout Christian who hates his dark skin. Then they monopolize some of the time he's not teaching the D.A. or in detention to Educate That Boy.

[frevandrest]

There had been a number of questionable takes recently regarding the Frev in the past few days that came in succession . Do you reckon if works in the past decades or so that were published in France and were made available to English readers would it may have at least mitigated such thing to ever happen or is the black legend so ingrained that even with the idea of an era where works by Belissa et Al were in circulation in English to people outside France, the result would be the same?

Before I reply, I need to make a disclaimer that I am not the best person to answer this question. I arrive from a very different educational tradition (neither Anglo nor French), and I actually discovered embarrassingly late about the whole black legend and the fact that, among some, the French Revolution was considered a horrible event (that failed). I was taught it was an event that changed the world forever (and helped shape the world today, mostly in a positive sense) and that it has to be studied to understand our world. So I am not the best person to judge the effect of the black legend vs new historiography. If others have more informed takes, please tell us; I am super interested. Now, the bad (as in, incorrect) takes we get here. They happen periodically, and they tend to be very similar, often by people claiming (and I have no reason to doubt them) that they are taking history courses on frev, typically in the USA. So these takes tell me about the state of teaching frev in the USA (Anglo?) sphere. Which is not necessarily the same as "what experts publish in academic articles", because - not sure if people are aware of it, so I need to emphasize - you do not have to be an expert on a topic to teach it at the university level. You typically need a PhD in the discipline, but not necessarily on the topic of the course you teach. I can imagine that they won't give a frev course to someone with a PhD in, say, antiquity, but "early modern period" is good enough, even if you are not an expert on France or the revolution.

Sorry for this preamble; I swear it is related to your question. What I mean is that these specific takes we saw here seem to me (though I could be wrong) not necessarily a product of current English-language academia on frev, but what students are taught. So yes, it is a good question on what kind of books students are given on the mandatory readings list, and if those teaching are even aware of the most current English-language books on the topic (let alone French). I swear most of this stuff is so dated and proven to be incorrect over and over again. We had someone a few months ago saying they read Carlyle for their frev class. ?? This is really strange to me, especially in the North American academia, where even books that are considered new-ish elsewhere, are seen as old, so why teach something published in early 19c? Unless you want to demonstrate changed attitudes about frev and discuss historiography, propaganda, etc. which doesn't seem to be the case. Those assigning such readings are teaching what they feel is true. So I can only guess that they never bothered to read newer stuff. Look. I am all for authors not liking the French Revolution or specific things in it (I am critical of many frev stuff myself), but you have to use current sources that go through earlier misconceptions. We can't still be stuck at "dictator Robespierre who ruled France", a thing that was disproven so long ago and no credible historian believes in (even if they hate Robespierre).

Now, this is about teaching history at the university level and not about experts in academia, because I do think most incorrect takes we get here on tumblr are from students. Experts sticking to the black legend and "horrible horror of the revolution that failed anyway and didn't achieve anything" are a different group. Though I am not an expert on the current historiography to judge it in detail. So, if someone reading this knows more and can explain, please share!

[bailey-writes]

So You Want Your OC to be Jewish

So you’re writing a story and you want to make a Jewish character—great! I’m here to help. I always want more Jewish representation but I want good Jewish representation, so this is my attempt to make a guide to making a Jewish character. What are my credentials? I’m Jewish and have been my whole life. Obligatory disclaimer that this is by no means comprehensive, I don’t know everything, all Jews are different, and this is based on my experiences as an American Jew so I have no idea, what, if any, of this applies to non-American Jews. 

If there’s anything you want me to make a post going more into detail about or if there’s anything I didn’t mention but you want to know please ask me! I hope this is helpful :) Warning, this is long.

Jew PSA

If you are Jewish you can use the word Jew(s), e.g. “She’s dating a Jew.” If you are not Jewish you cannot use the word Jew(s). This is not up for debate. Non-Jews calling us Jews has a negative connotation at best. Don’t do it and don’t have your characters do it.

Basics, Plus My Random Thoughts that Didn’t Fit Anywhere Else

A confusing enduring issue is, what is Judaism? It’s a religion, but some Jews aren’t religious; is it a race? A nationality? A culture? A heritage? The only constant is that we are seen as “other.” There’s a lot of debate, which makes it confusing to be Jewish and as such it’s common for Jews to struggle with their Jewish Identity. However many people agree that Jews are an ethnoreligious group, aka Judaism is a religion and an ethnicity.

Temple/Synagogue/Shul = Jewish place of worship. Shul is usually used for Orthodox synagogues.

Keeping kosher = following Jewish dietary rules: meat and dairy can’t be eaten together and you can’t eat pork or shellfish. Fish and eggs are pareve (aka neutral) and can be eaten with meat or dairy (but again not both at the same time.) When eating meat it has to be kosher meat (e.g. kosher Jews are allowed to eat chicken, but not all chicken is kosher. I know it’s kinda confusing I’m sorry.) Kosher products in stores will have symbols on them to identify them as kosher. If someone is kosher they’ll probably have separate sets of utensils/plates/cookware/etc. for meat and dairy

Shabbat/Shabbos/Sabbath = holy day of the week, day of rest, lasts from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday. Depending on observance Jews might have Shabbat dinner, attend Shabbat services, or observe the day of rest in its entirety (making them shomer Shabbat)

Someone who is shomer Shabbat will refrain from any of the prohibited activities. These can easily be looked up but include: working, writing, handling money, cooking, and using technology.

Bat/Bar/B’nai Mitvzah = tradition where a Jewish boy/girl becomes a man/woman. Celebrated at 13-years-old for boys, 12- or 13-years-old for girls. Girls have Bat Mitzvahs (bat means daughter in Hebrew), boys have Bar Mitzvahs (bar means son in Hebrew) and twins or two or more people having one together have a B’nai Mitzvah. They will study for this for months and then help lead services and, depending on observance level, read from the Torah. The ceremony is often attended by family and friends and followed with a celebration of sorts (in America usually this means a brunch and/or party.)

Goy/gentile = non-Jew. These words are not slurs, they are literally just words. Plural of goy is goyim and is a Yiddish word, plural of gentile is gentiles.

Jewish holidays follow the Hebrew calendar, meaning that according to the current solar/Gregorian calendar the dates of our holidays are different each year.

Jewish law recognizes matrilineal inheritance. This means that Jewish law states your mother has to be Jewish for you to be Jewish. This is because of reasons from biblical times that I can explain if you wanna come ask, but as you can imagine is a bit outdated. While Orthodox Jews might embrace this idea and only consider someone Jewish if their mom is Jewish, many Jews are more flexible on the idea (and yes, this does cause tension between Orthodox Jews and other Jews at times.)

Judaism =/= Christianity

Some people think Judaism is just Christianity without Jesus (some people don’t even realize we don’t believe in/celebrate Jesus so newsflash, we don’t) and that’s just wrong. Yes both religions share the Old Testament, so they also share some history and beliefs, but the entire ideologies of the religions are different. In brief, they are similar in some ways but are not the same.

What seems to me to be the biggest difference is that Christianity (from what I understand) has a heavy focus on sins, more specifically repenting for/gaining forgiveness for your sins. In Christianity you are born tainted by original sin. In Judaism we believe everyone is born pure and free from sin and everyone is made in God’s image. Judaism has some concept of sin, but doesn’t focus on them and instead focuses on performing Mitzvot (plural, singular form is mitzvah. Direct translation is “commandment” but basically means good deed or act of kindness. It also relates to the commandments, so following the commandments is also performing mitzvot.) Examples of mitzvot include anything from saying a prayer or lighting Shabbat candles to helping a stranger or donating to charity (called tzedakah). One of the main tenets of Judaism is tikkun olam, which directly translates to “repair the world” and means exactly what it says on the tin. Instead of focusing on being forgiven for doing bad Judaism focuses on doing good. The only day we focus on past wrongdoings is Yom Kippur, one of our most holy holidays, discussed below.

Holidays

Rosh Hashanah – The Jewish New Year, occurs around September and lasts for two days, though Reform Jews often only celebrate the first day. Day of happiness and joy, celebrated by eating sweet things for a “sweet new year” (often apples dipped in honey) and circular challah to represent the end of one year and beginning of another. Also celebrated with services and blowing the shofar (rams horn.) Some spend the day in prayer and/or silent meditation. Possible greetings: chag sameach (happy holiday; can be said on almost any holiday), Shana Tovah, or happy new year (which is what Shana Tovah means, some people just say it in English.)

Yom Kippur – Day of Atonement. Occurs ten days after the start of Rosh Hashanah. One of if not the most solemn day for Jews, but also the most holy. The day is spent reflecting on yourself and any past wrongdoings and atoning. The day (sundown the night before to sundown the day of) is spent fasting, a physical way of atoning. We do this in hopes of being “written in the Book of Life” and starting the year with a clean slate. The shofar is blown at the end of the holiday. Most Jews will end the fast with a grand meal with family and friends. Most common greeting is “have an easy fast,” but happy new year is still appropriate.

Sukkot – Celebrates the harvest, occurs on the fifth day after Yom Kippur and lasts seven days. Celebrated by building a temporary hut outdoors called a sukkah and having meals inside it, as well as shaking palm fronds tied together (called a lulav) and holding a citrus called an etrog. Very fun and festive holiday. Possible greetings include chag sameach or Happy Sukkot.

Shemini Atzeret and Simchat Torah – Some Jews (mostly Reform Jews and Jews living in Israel) combine both holidays into one day while some celebrate them as two separate days. Either way they occur immediately after Sukkot. Shemini Atzeret is similar but separate from Sukkot and features a prayer for rain; Sukkot is not mentioned in prayers and the lulav isn’t shaken but you do eat in the sukkah. Simchat Torah celebrates finishing reading the Torah, which we will then begin again the next day. It’s a festive holiday with dancing and fun. Some Temples will roll the entire Torah out and the children will run under it. Appropriate greeting for both would be chag sameach.

Rosh Hashanah through Simchat Torah are referred to as the High Holidays.

Chanukah – We all know about Chanukah, celebrating the reclaiming of the Second Temple and the miracle of the oil lasting eight days. The most represented Jewish Holiday there is. Unfortunately it’s one of the least significant holidays for us. Occurs around November or December and lasts eight days and nights. Celebrated by lighting candles in the Menorah each night with a prayer and kids usually get gifts each night. Also celebrated with spinning tops called dreidels, fried foods like doughnuts (sufganiyot in Hebrew; usually the jelly filled ones) and potato pancakes called latkes. Greetings: happy Chanukah or chag sameach.

Tu B’Shevat – Birthday of the trees, basically Jewish Arbor Day. Minor but fun holiday, sometimes celebrated by planting trees. Occurs around January or February.

Purim – Celebrates how Queen Esther of Persia defeated Haman and saved her people, the Jews. Occurs in Spring. Festive holiday traditionally celebrated by dressing in costumes, eating sweets, and giving tzedakah (it’s also technically commanded you get drunk so woohoo!) Whenever Haman’s name is mentioned you make a lot of noise, booing and using noisemakers called groggers. Greetings: happy Purim, chag Purim, or chag sameach.

Passover/Pesach – Celebrates the Jews being freed from slavery in Egypt. Occurs in Spring and lasts eight days. The first two nights (some only celebrate the first night) are celebrated with seder, a ritual meal with certain foods, practices, prayers, and readings from a book called the Haggadah and often attended by family and friends. Most famous prayer/song of the holiday is the four questions, which ask why that night is different from all other nights and is traditionally sung by the youngest child at the seder. The entire holiday is spent not eating certain foods, mostly grain or flour (the food restrictions are complicated and differ based on denomination so look it up or ask a Jew.) We eat a lot of matzah during Pesach, which is like a cracker kinda. I personally hate it but some people actually like it. Greetings: happy Passover, chag pesach, or chag sameach.

Tisha B’Av – Anniversary of the destruction of the Temple. Occurs in Summer. Very sad, solemn day. Some celebrate by fasting from sunrise to sunset. Not the most widely celebrated holiday. Some also commemorate the Holocaust (also called the Shoah) on this day as it was the destruction of a figurative temple.

Denominations

There are a bunch of denominations in Judaism, we’ll go into it briefly.

Religious denominations:

Reform/Reformed: This is the least religiously observant level. Often Reform Jews don’t keep kosher or observe Shabbat, their services on Shabbat will use instruments. Reform Jews probably attend services for the high holidays at the very least and probably had a Bat/Bar Mitzvah. Might say they consider themselves more culturally Jewish. Their Temple/Synagogue will be the most “liberal”—aka have more female/diverse Rabbis and a more diverse congregation. I’m Reform and my Temple’s lead Rabbi is a woman and we used to have a Rabbi who’s a queer single mother.

Conservative: More religiously observant and more generally traditional. Might keep kosher or observe Shabbat, but not necessarily. Services likely won’t use instruments (not supposed to play instruments on Shabbat). Most likely had a Bat/Bar Mitzvah, but girls might not read from the Torah, though this depends on the congregation. They do allow female Rabbis, but in my experience it’s less common.

Modern Orthodox: Very religiously observant but also embrace modern society. Will keep kosher and observe Shabbat. Men will wear kippot (singular=kippah) and tzitzit under their shirts. Women will cover their hair (if they’re married), most likely with a wig, and wear modest clothing (only wear skirts that are at least past their knees and long sleeves). Emphasis on continued study of Torah/Talmud. Parents will likely have jobs. Might have larger families (aka more children) but might not. Services will be segregated by gender, girls won’t read from the Torah publicly, and female Rabbis are very rare. Children will most likely attend a religious school. Will attend shul services every Shabbat and for holidays.

note: there are some people who fall somewhere between modern Orthodox and ultra-Orthodox, or between any two denominations really. as you can imagine people don’t all practice the exact same way.

Ultra-Orthodox: Very religiously observant and not necessarily modern. Will keep kosher and observe Shabbat. Men will wear kippot or other head coverings and tzitzit under their shirts, and are also often seen wearing suits. Women will cover their hair (if they’re married) with a wig or scarf and wear modest clothing (only wear skirts that are at least past their knees and long sleeves). Emphasis on continued study of Torah/Talmud. Men might have jobs but might instead focus on Jewish studies, while women most often focus on housework and child-rearing. Don’t believe in contraception (but this is kinda nuanced and depends). Will often have very large families because having children is a commandment and helps continue the Jewish people. Might be shomer negiah which means not touching members of the opposite sex aside from their spouse and some close family members. Services will be segregated by gender, girls won’t read from the Torah publicly, and there won’t be female Rabbis. Children will attend a religious school. Will attend shul services every Shabbat and for holidays.

Ethnic denominations (the different denominations do have some differences in practices and such but tbh I don’t know much about that so this is just the basics):

Ashkenazi: Jews that originate from Central/Eastern Europe. Yiddish, a combination of Hebrew and German, originated from and was spoken by Ashkenazim and while it’s a dying language it’s spoken among many Orthodox Jews and many Jews of all levels know/speak some Yiddish words and phrases. Majority of Jews worldwide are Ashkenazi.

Sephardi/Sephardic: Jews that originate from the Iberian Peninsula, North Africa, and southeastern Europe. Ladino, a combination of Old Spanish and Hebrew, originated from and was spoken by Sephardim. It is also a dying language but is still spoken by some Sephardim. After Ashkenazi most of the world’s Jews are Sephardic.

Mizrahi: Jews that originate from the Middle East and North Africa.

Ethiopian Jews: Community of Jews that lived in Ethiopia for over 1,000 years, though most have immigrated to Israel by now.

Stereotypes/Tropes/Controversies/Etc.

There are so many Jewish stereotypes and shit and I ask you to please be mindful of them. Stereotypes do exist for a reason, so some people will fit stereotypes. This means your character might fit one or two; don’t make them fit all of them. Please. Stereotypes to keep in mind (and steer away from) include:

All Jews are rich.

All Jews are greedy.

All Jews are cheap/frugal.

All Jews are [insert job here]. We’ll go into this more below.

All Jews hate Christians/Muslims/etc.

All Jews are white. 

First of all Ethiopian and Mizrahi Jews exist, many Sephardi are Hispanic, and today with intermarriage and everything this just isn’t true.

All Jews have the same physical features: large and/or hooked nose, beady eyes, droopy eyelids, red hair (this is an old stereotype I didn’t really know existed), curly hair.

Many Jews do have somewhat large noses and curly hair. I’m not saying you can’t give these features to your characters, but I am saying to be careful and don’t go overboard. And don’t give all of your Jewish characters these features. As a side note, it is common at least among American Jews that girls get nose jobs. Not all, but some.

Jews are secretly world elite/control the world/are lizard people/new world order/ any of this stuff. 

STAY AWAY FROM. DO NOT DO THIS OR ANYTHING LIKE THIS. If you have a character that’s part lizard, do not make them Jewish. If you have a character that’s part of a secret group that controls the entire world, do not make them Jewish.

Jews have horns. If you have characters with horns please don’t make them Jewish.

Jews killed Jesus.

The blood libel. Ew. No.

The blood libel is an antisemitic accusation/idea/concept that back in the day Jews would murder Christian children to use their blood in religious rituals and sometimes even for consumption (did I mention gross?) Not only did this just not happen, but it’s actually against Jewish law to murder, sacrifice, or consume blood. Yes these accusations really happened and it became a main reason for persecution of Jews. And some people still believe this shit.

Jews caused The Plague.

The reason this conspiracy exists is because many Jews didn’t get The Plague and the goyim thought that meant it was because the Jews caused it/cursed them. The real reason Jews didn’t get it is because ritual hand-washing and good hygiene kept them from getting it. Sorry that we bathe.

Jewish mother stereotype.

Ok, listen. I know stereotypes are mostly a bad thing but I have to admit the Jewish mother stereotype is not far off. Jewish moms do tend to be chatty and a little nagging, are often very involved in their children’s lives, and they are often trying to feed everyone (although they don’t all cook, my mom hates cooking.) They also tend to be big worriers, mostly worrying about their family/loved ones. They also tend to know everyone somehow. A twenty minute trip to the grocery store can turn into an hour or two long trip because she’ll chat with all the people she runs into.

Jewish-American Princess (JAP) ((I know calling Japanese people Japs is offensive. Jews will call girls JAPs, but with a completely different meaning. If that’s still offensive I am sorry, but just know it happens.))

This is the stereotype that portrays Jewish girls/women as spoiled brats basically. They will be pampered and materialistic. Do these girls exist? Definitely. I still recommend steering away from this stereotype.

Names

Listen. Listen. There are some names that Jews just won’t have. I won’t speak in definites because there are always exceptions but you’ll rarely find a Jew named Trinity or Grace or Faith or any form of Chris/Christopher/Christina etc. Biblical names from the Old Testament? Absolutely Jews will have those names they’re actually very common.

I’m in a Jewish Sorority. My pledge class of ~70 girls had five Rebeccas and four Sarahs. Surprisingly only one Rachel though.

When it comes to last names I have two thoughts that might seem contradictory but hear me out: a) give your Jewish OC’s Jewish surnames, b) don’t give your Jewish OC’s the most Jewish surname to ever exist.

By this I mean I would much rather see a character named Sarah Cohen or Aaron Levine than Rachel Smith. Just that little bit of recognition makes a happy exclamation point appear over my head, plus it can be a good way to hint to readers that your OC is Jewish.

On the other hand, please don’t use the most stereotypical Jewish names you’ve ever heard. If you have five Jewish OCs and one of them is Isaac Goldstein then fine. If Isaac Goldstein is your only Jewish OC I might get a little peeved. There are tons of common Jewish surnames that are recognizable and easy to look up, so don’t revert to the first three that come to mind. Maybe it’s just me, but I find it yucky, for lack of a better word.

Jobs

We all know there are certain jobs that are stereotypical for Jews to have. We’re talking lawyer, dentist, doctor, banker type stuff. To an extent these stereotypes exist for a reason, many Jews go into those careers. Do not make these the only careers your Jewish OCs have. Stereotypes might have reasoning behind them but it doesn’t mean they aren’t harmful. If you have multiple Jewish OCs some of them can have these careers, but not all of them. I do know a lot of Jewish lawyers, dentists, and doctors. I also know accountants, people involved in businesses (“mom, what does Brad do?” “he’s a businessman” sometimes there just aren’t more specific words), people involved in real estate. I don’t actually know any bankers personally, and with money and stuff being one of the most common and harmful Jewish stereotypes I would suggest steering away from that.

These are common fields for Jews, but Jews can have literally any job. Please feel free to get creative. And if you have more than one Jewish OC you can think about making one of them a Rabbi, but DON’T do this if they’re the only Jewish OC. Please.

Yiddish

So I mentioned Yiddish earlier. Like I already said, it’s not a very widely used language anymore but there are some words and phrases that are still used by a lot of Jews (in America at least.) Here’s a list that is absolutely not comprehensive:

Oy vey = oh no

Shvitzing = sweating (but not just a little bit. Shvitzing is like SWEATING)

Kvetch/kvetching = whine/whining or complain/complaining

Mazel tov = congratulations; this is the same in Yiddish and Hebrew

Chutzpah = nerve or gall (e.g. “He’s got a lot of chutzpah for breaking up over text like that”)

Kismet = fate; I just learned this is Yiddish

Bubbe and Zayde = grandma and grandpa

Schelp/schlepping = drag/dragging, can also mean carry or move (e.g. “I had to schlep the bag all around town” doesn’t mean they literally dragged it)

Schmutz = dirt or something dirty (e.g. “you have schmutz on your face”)

Schmatta = literally means rag but can be used to refer to ratty blankets or clothes

Plotz = collapse (usually used in the sense of “I’m so tired I might plotz” or “she’s gonna be so excited she’s gonna plotz”)

Schmuck/shmendrick = both mean more or less the same, a jerk or obnoxious person

Shtick = gimmick, routine, or act (can be used like (“I don’t like that comedian’s shtick” or “he always makes himself the center of attention it’s his shtick”)

Spiel = long speech, story, or rant

There’s so many more so look them up and think about using them, but don’t overdo it. A Jewish person isn’t gonna use a Yiddish word in every sentence (or even every day or every few days.)

Israel

In my community at least it’s very common that by the time your college-aged that you’ll have been to Israel at least once.

Israel is a controversial topic within the Jewish community and in the world. It’s sensitive and complex. I really, really suggest not getting into it. Just don’t bring it up because no matter what you say someone will be unhappy. Just don’t do it.

Ashkenazi Disorders

Ashkenazi Jews have some sucky genes (I’m Ashkenazi so I can say this, you cannot.) These sucky genes cause certain disorders to be more prevalent for us. Children only get the disorder if both parents are carriers of the disorder, so Jews usually get genetic testing done before having children. If both parents are carriers the risk of the child getting the disorder is high, so parents might reconsider or have some indecisiveness/fear. Some of these are:

Tay-Sachs

Cystic Fibrosis

Canavan Disease

Familial Dysautonomia

Gaucher Disease

Spinal Muscular Atrophy  

Fanconi Anemia

Mucolipidosis IV

Niemann-Pick Disease

Torsion Dystonia

Bloom Syndrome

Ashkenazi Jews also have a high prevalence of the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes, which increase the risk of breast and ovarian cancer in women and increase the risk of breast and prostate cancer in men.

Crohn’s Disease, Ulcerative Colitis, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and Lactose Intolerance are also very prevalent

In a dorm of like 40 Jews, six of them had Crohn’s.

Ways to Show Your OC is Jewish

Wears Jewish jewelry, e.g. Star of David (also called Jewish Star and Magen David), Chai symbol (means life), jewelry with Sh’ma prayer, or hamsa (but beware this symbol is used outside of Judaism).

Mentions their temple, their Rabbi, having a Bat/Bar Mitzvah, going to Hebrew School, Shabbat, or a holiday coming up.

Have someone ask them a question about Judaism.

Have someone notice they have a mezuzah on their door. 

Most Jews will have a mezuzah on the doorframe of the front door of their house/apartment, but they could even have one for their dorm room or whatever. It’s traditional to kiss your hand then touch the mezuzah when walking through the door, but most Jews don’t do this every time, at least not most Reform or Conservative Jews.

Have them call out antisemitism if you’re feeling spicy

The end! I hope this helped and if you have any questions my ask box is always open!

[zotash]

Discussing the most common arguments against Zoro x Tashigi

I realized I’ve been seeing the same criticisms over and over again, on forums, Twitter, Reddit etc. for almost a decade now, so I decided to make a comprehensive post to discuss them. Yes, I have a lot of free time these days.

As a disclaimer, these are just my opinions and there might be other ZoTash fans who think differently. This is not against the people who just don’t like this ship because it’s not their cup of tea. Saying “it’s not my thing” is totally valid. I only want to discuss arguments that are repeatedly used against ZoTash that make no sense to me, and explain why.

1. “People only ship Zoro with Tashigi because of Kuina”

Okay, what does this even mean? I see this a lot but I think it has at least a couple of different interpretations:

Interpretation no. 1: “People only ship Zoro with Tashigi because they think she’s Kuina” -> No. I’ve always believed Kuina is dead and is not Tashigi, mainly because of the following reasons:

Oda drew Kuina's dead body and her grave, where her father brings news of Zoro and has laid her training katana to rest. This is all in the manga.

Kuina and Tashigi canonically have different ages (Kuina would be 22 and Tashigi is 23) and they have different birthdays, that come from readers’ suggestions in SBSs.

Oda drew Tashigi as a child in an SBS and she looks nothing like Kuina.

Zoro's dream and backstory would lose all meaning if Kuina were still alive, as Kuina’s death is basically his cornerstone.

Interpretation no. 2: “People only ship Zoro with Tashigi because Tashigi reminds Zoro of Kuina” -> Is this implying we think Zoro was in love with Kuina and he can’t get over it so he’s projecting Kuina onto Tashigi? Personally, I don’t think Zoro felt anything for Kuina other than friendship and admiration. And they were 10 and 11... It could have been a childhood crush at best, not actual romantic love.

It’s a fact that Tashigi reminds Zoro of Kuina, but Zoro has gotten over it and doesn’t consider Tashigi a “copycat” anymore (as per Oda’s own words). Despite what some may believe, Kuina doesn’t really feature in most of the ZoTash ship discussion. Yes, she’s at the center of Zoro and Tashigi’s main misunderstanding, but their relationship has progressed past the “omg she looks like Kuina” phase now.

2. “Tashigi is a marine, her and Zoro being together would not work.”

I think people saying this should first of all re-read the series, because they are missing the entire point of One Piece – that is to tear down any artificial divide imposed by society/the goverment/tradition when it’s an obstacle to freedom, including freedom to love.

Luffy and the Strawhats with their actions are the catalysts for this. Marine and Pirates won’t matter in the end, the only thing that will matter is whether to side with the new Dawn brought along by Luffy or oppose it. And I think Tashigi (with Smoker) will side with the good side, given the direction their characters have been going in.

Once Zoro and Tashigi’s pirate/marine labels wash away, what remains are two individuals who are very similar, have chemistry, and share the same ideals and the same passion for swordsmanship. So, yes, in my opinion it would work.

As for Zoro, I’ve seen people say that being with Tashigi would go against his “pirate code” and I’m like– what? This is not about someone leaving their crew or disobeying their captain. Tashigi has nothing to do with Zoro’s pirate code. This is about Zoro, a pirate, doing whatever he wants and making his own decisions. Which is what pirates do. And if you don’t believe me, here’s what Oda – speaking through Sanji – thinks about pirate-marine relationships:

3. “Zoro just considers Tashigi an annoyance.”

I think this argument also comes from a superficial reading of the characters and from being oblivious to tropes certain authors like Oda like to use.

First, Zoro seems to consider everyone an annoyance, including people from his own crew, because that’s part of his tough guy act. Do you also believe Zoro truly hates Sanji, since he always puts up an annoyed face with him? Again, let’s hear what Oda/Sanji has to say on the matter:

Second, I do agree that at the beginning, pre-timeskip, Zoro was truly annoyed by Tashigi. That was both for comedic effect and also how enemies-to-lovers arcs work. But things have changed since the timeskip, with Zoro not freaking out anymore at the sight of Tashigi, showing more interest in her, initiating physical contact, and taking care of her when she was injured.

Third, the bickering and the “annoyed” reaction is typical of many Oda couples or couples-to-be. Oda often likes to use the like-an-old-married-couple trope for people that are indeed going to get married or be in a relationship:

4. “Zoro has only feelings for swords.”

This always makes me laugh because I’m like, dude–

I mean, the association Tashigi = swords is so strong that on official One Piece merch she’s always represented by the kanji for “sword” 刀 while Zoro has to make do with 斬, “to cut”. And to think that 刀 is even Zoro’s own signature! Sorry Zoro, there’s a bigger sword nerd in town.

I believe Tashigi is exactly Zoro’s type also because she can understand his lifelong dedication to swordsmanship and share in it. She’s been through a very similar life experience with swords, and Zoro would only benefit from a partnership with her that allows him to expand his sword knowledge. People say Zoro only cares about swords, but if it weren’t for Tashigi he wouldn’t even know Wadō Ichimonji’s name. Swords are what connect them.

And to be honest, I find statements like “Zoro only has eyes for swords” very simplistic. He’s not a one-note, gag character. He’s capable of having complex feelings and multiple interests.

---

So, yeah. I think these four are the most frequent arguments used against this ship. I’ve also seen weirder ones, and some that really made me laugh, but they’re not worth mentioning here. Let me know if there are others worth analyzing and of course anyone is welcome to contribute to the discussion!

[chiaki-translation]

Luminous Circus: Event Translation Epilogue

Finally, the epilogue~

I have nothing to say, but I guess I’m going to rest for a while after this~

Ch3-4 / / Ch5-6 / / Ch7-8 / / Ch9-10 / / Epilogue

Disclaimer:

A3! is owned by Liber Entertainment

Translator’s Note: The guys are trying to compose a Haiku later on in this Epilogue. It’s impossible for it to not be lost in translation so I kept the actual Japanese sentence along with the general idea of what the Haiku means on the side. 575 refers to the syllables for each line which is the common formatting for Haiku. Seasonal word is a collection of words they used in the traditional Japanese poetry to represent the particular season, usually referring to the season they’re in now.

Epilogue: Day dream at night

Homare:

Thank you for coming!

Kazunari:

Thank you, everyone! See you again!

Sakuya:

Thank you so much!

Muku:

Thank you so much~!

<Shifts to Backstage>

Director:

(Even until the closing night, they were able to convey a fun and wonderful performance of a circus troupe to the audiences. I’m so glad!)

Tsumugi:

It’s a great closing night performance.

Guy:

Yeah. Mixed Play really has a different atmosphere compared to the usual Winter Troupe performance.

Azuma:

It’s such a refreshing feel to look at something new.

Hisoka:

…Arisu looks like his usual self.

Tasuku:

The role has a similar feel to Arisugawa, but don’t you think he’s able to pull off being a leader better now.

Tsumugi:

You’re right.

Director:

Thank you for your help!

Tsumugi:

After this, are we going to have an afterparty?

Tasuku:

If you’re going to do it, I’ll help with the preparation.

Director:

Ah, then--

Homare:

Thank you, but I don’t need any help.

Director:

Ah, Homare-san! Thank you for your hard work!

Guy:

You’re not going to hold an afterparty?

Homare:

Not that, the venue has already been arranged and prepared.

<Shifts to Mansion’s Garden>

Sakuya:

It’s really gorgeous.

Muku:

It’s like a noble garden party in the mansion, it’s so nice!

Tasuku:

The inner courtyard can accommodate everyone from the troupe, it’s really quite big.

Homare:

Then, please drink and eat as much as you like today!

Kazunari:

Let’s eat!

Director:

I’m sorry for bringing in so many people.

Homare’s Grandmother:

That immature grandson of mine always bothers me anyway, don’t mind it.

Homare:

I guess I’m still immersed in the lingering excitement from the closing night, the sake smells pretty fragrant…

A poetic inspiration swelled up inside me.

Food—The buzzing chronicle~, scramble bloo bloo blooming~

Ariel:

Woof!

Homare:

Wh, what is it, Ariel!

Homare’s Grandmother:

It actually sounds like her favourite call.

You too, why not read me a Haiku for once.

Homare:

I like poem with freedom and no format though…

Food…

Akari kie (Having lost its light)

Hana no kaori nokoru (the flower leaves behind its fragrance)

Ita no ue (on top of everything else)

...How’s that.

Director:

It’s actually proper…!

Sakuya:

That’s very wonderful!

Hisoka:

…It’s somehow weird when you actually understand what Alice means.

Homare:

What do you mean by that!

Tasuku:

So you can actually create a proper one after all.

Homare’s Grandmother:

Others who just finished their performance too, why not try making a phrase.

Sakuya:

Eh!? Umm, a Haiku should be 575 right…

Things like…

Kankyaku no (The audience’s)

egao hajiketa (smile bursting out)

senshuraku. (on the closing night)

I’m sorry, there’re extra syllables and the seasonal word is missing!

Director:

It’s alright as long as long as it sounds like Sakuya-kun!

Homare:

Yes. It’s such a bright phrase.

Kazunari:

Hey hey, I’m next!

Ame arare (The barrage of rain)

Ka-ten ko-ru (during curtain call)

Kimochi ii! (leaves behind a nice feeling!)

Director:

You managed to include the seasonal word properly.

Sakuya:

It’s rain, but it has such a bright feeling!

Tasuku:

It’s not rainy season now though.

Kazunari:

That’s the point!

Homare:

How about Muku-kun.

Muku:

Eh!? Me, me is it!?

Eh, umm…

Sa-kasu wa (In Circus)

Kyaku mo yakusha mo (the audience and the performers too)

Egao ni naru ne (will be full of smiles)

…?

Director:

So cute!

Kazunari:

Feels like Mukkun!

Muku:

Ehehe!

Tsuzuru:

It’s very interesting that you can see people’s character from their Haiku phrase.

Misumi:

I also want to make one~!

Sankaku no (Triangle)

Kado wa mittsu de (has 3 corners)

Sankaku da (that’s why it’s a triangle.)

~!

Kazunari:

So triangular~!

Tenma:

THE triangle huh.

Tsuzuru:

He’s so steady.

<Short Time Skip>

Director:

It’s going to be pretty late, we should call it a day soon.

Kazunari:

Right~ Eh? Where’s Aririn?

Muku:

Ah, I haven’t seen him for a while.

Takao:

Homare-sama said that he was feeling a bit drunk, so he left his seat earlier.

I thought he was in the inner courtyard, should we search for him for you.

Director:

If that’s the case, we’ll go and search for him.

Sakuya:

If we’re going to call it a day, it won’t be right if the leader’s not here!

<Shifts to Grandmother’s Study>

Homare:

…Fuh.

(I was feeling a bit drunk, but why did I come to such place.

I have to get back soon--)

Hmm?

The watch is moving!

I thought it’s already broken…  It’s a miracle!

???:

Grandfather.

Homare:

!?

That… But, no way…

Homare’s Grandfather:

Hmm? It’s you, Homare, what is it.

Homare:

Grandmother said the tea is ready.

Homare’s Grandfather:

Thank you. I’ll be there soon.

Homare:

That pocket watch, is it broken again?

Homare’s Grandfather:

Yeah. But it’s already repaired.

Recently, the number of parts has decreased, it’s getting harder and harder to maintain it.

My sight is getting worse too, this watch and me too, we’ve become old.

It’s been 30 years huh…

Homare:

…?

Homare’s Grandfather:

That painting was drawn around the same time that I bought this watch.

That painting, it’s an important memory of my time with grandmother.

Homare:

What kind of memory is it?

Homare’s Grandfather:

When you grow up, when you finally found your important things, give it a thought.

Ariel:

--Woof!

Homare:

!!

It disappeared…?

Just now it was—

(Do I start daydreaming too when I’m drunk.

The watch’s not moving...  When did the dream start I wonder?)

…As I thought, something that’s already broken cannot return to the past.

Kazunari:

Aririn!

Muku:

Arisu-san, so you’re here.

Director:

You’re spacing out, what happened?

Homare:

Nothing, something strange happened just now.

I could see my grandfather and myself during my childhood.

Director:

Eh!?

Kazunari:

That’s great isn’t it!

Muku:

Woah, that sounds like what happened to George!

Sakuya:

A real magic!

Homare:

I see… Then maybe, that’s the magic of this pocket watch.

Muku:

It still holds such a mysterious power even though you’ve had it for so long!

Sakuya:

Maybe it’s your grandfather’s ability!

Director:

Umm… I guess Homare-san yourself has some magic in you.

Kazunari:

Then, everything’s correct!

I’m sure, the feelings of the various people contained in this pocket watch are being manifested through magic, don’t you think so?

Homare:

Hmm… That will be such a powerful magic.

From now on, let’s make a lot more memories.

Together with this watch--

Director:

You’re right.

Kazunari:

I’m sure your grandfather will be happy too.

Homare:

Then, let’s immediately make some memories right now!

Director:

Eh!? Now!?

Sakuya:

It’s already late!?

Muku:

What do you want to do?

Homare:

Grandfather and grandmother will paint on days like this so they won’t forget!

Kazunari:

Then, it’s a drawing meet!

Homare:

Yes!

Sakuya:

D, drawing meet!?

Muku:

Fufu, it sounds fun, a drawing meet!

Director:

And I thought we’re going to end the day soon…

Homare:

Then, let’s get the art supplies ready.

Kazunari:

If we’re painting we have to prepare the tables too!

Director:

…I don’t think I can stop them at this point.

Homare’s Grandmother:

What kind of commotion is this?

Director:

I’m sorry.

Can you lend us the courtyard for a little bit longer?

Homare’s Grandmother:

Well, I’m sure it’s because of something that child say right.

There’s no other choice.

Director:

Really sorry to bother you…

Homare’s Grandmother:

…Sakae-san, I’m glad I gave that pocket watch to Homare.

Director:

Eh?

Homare’s Grandmother:

Nah, it’s nothing.

<End of Epilogue>

[mypoisonedvine]

Hiya! Could you maybe write a sad/angsty Jaskier imagine where the reader is dying from an illness or something, but when she dies she kinds of a transformation (like yen) where not only does she come back to life, but she’s even more beautiful. After years she eventually finds Jaskier and Geralt again and they reunite ect ect. Could you please make it really emotional? I’m in the mood to cry 😩

Hoo boy, I really ran with this one, because I actually had a vaguely similar idea before I got this ask and I ended up sorta frankensteining the two together into something hopefully enjoyable!  Sorry it took so long, but with a word count of 6k it’s not too shocking that it took me a few days!  Hope you’re still in the mood to cry!  I took a few liberties with the original prompt although I actually had a second idea that followed it more closely in some ways and less so in others.  Maybe I’ll write that one up someday as well but I don’t want to be known for killing readers lol so I’ll need to get some normal stuff out there in between.

Quick disclaimer, I sort of made canon squishy in this one… it’s supposed to be set after Jaskier breaks up with Geralt after the dragon hunt.  Theoretically, he heads straight back home and that instigates this whole plot.  The thing is that he and the reader would be 40 for that to really make sense.  So, I kind of left it vague…. depending on your age, feel free to imagine that less than 22 years have passed lol.  So, just a heads up on that.

WARNING: major character death, in fact it’s the reader and it is depicted graphically.  I would not recommend this story to someone struggling with suicidal thoughts because it does straight up describe you dying, all in second person.  If you think you would find that really disturbing and/or really enticing, please don’t read this!  The good news is, as is made clear in the original request, there’s a happy ending!

Never Really Over (a Jaskier x Reader oneshot)

Rating: T (violence but only implied smut)Word Count: 6kTaglist: never had one of these for an ask before but lol @100percentamess you asked to be tagged in everything so here’s your first!

You were cleaning out an old closet when you found it, tucked away under a floorboard.  When you saw the small decorated chest, you instantly remembered what was inside.  Throughout your childhood you had written him a number of love letters, confessing your undying commitment to him every few years like some kind of triennial tradition.  None of the letters ever made it to him, because you knew better than to dream of him ever returning the sentiment.  Even knowing that, you felt embarrassment burning in your chest when you remembered some of the ridiculous things you had written.  Julian, you’re the love of my life and I know that we’re meant to be together, shit like that.  

You had always wanted to get out of this town, see the world, experience life, but you never got your chance.  That made it sting all the more when you found the letter from him under your door so many years ago.  You didn’t even need to open the box to read it, you remembered it like you had it right in front of you: You’ve been my best friend my whole life and I’ve loved you like a sister.  I hope you won’t be hurt that I’m leaving, but I can’t stay in this place.  I need adventure, and I plan to find it while I tour the Continent with my songs.  If I ever return I’ll be sure to stop by… and if I become a famous bard, you can always say you knew me back when!  -Julian

When you heard a knock at the door you jumped, having lost yourself in the memory.  You slid the floorboard back quickly, and moved a rug over it to cover the cracks.  Running to the door, you swung it open and what you saw made you sure you’d gone mad.

It was Julian.  He’d barely aged, so much so that at first you thought he was some sort of corporeal memory of the day he left.  

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he remarked casually.  

~

“Julian-” you began.

“I go by Jaskier now,” he corrected.

“Unless you’re here to perform, I’m not going to call you by a stage name,” you frowned. 

“It’s not just a stage name: I’ve reinvented myself,” he boasted. 

“Jules, I’ve known you my whole life, and you’re the same you’ve always been,” you shot him down with an eye roll.  He smiled at you and it made your heart ache.

“You’re the same, too.  But you look different,” he observed.  You must have made a face of disappointment because he instantly corrected himself. “Not older, necessarily.  Well, not old.  You look different…” he paused, “but it suits you.”

“Don’t sound so hesitant,” you laughed.

“It’s just strange!” he defended. “But it’s good to see you again.  I missed you greatly.”

You sighed, looking away. 

“You don’t hate me for leaving, do you?” he asked nervously, taking your hand in his.  His touch shot through your entire body, and you wished he wouldn’t do things like that- things that were so unimportant and nonchalant to him but meant so much to you.

“I only hate you as much as I ever did,” you answered quietly, looking back at him.  He looked like he really needed to believe that you didn’t hate him, which was strange: normally he seemed to either not care what people thought of him, or maybe even thrive on negative attention.  He was always meant to be a star: a firm believer in the idea that there’s no such thing as bad publicity.

“Strangely, I don’t find that comforting,” he replied with a chuckle.

“You best not come to me for comfort, don’t you remember how mean I am?” you smiled back.

“Yes, but never to me!” 

“Well, you left,” you responded, and the mood was dampened.  Regretting to have lost the energy, you piped up quickly with a question. “How were your travels?”

It didn’t seem to help.

“Oh, lovely,” he said, but his energy didn’t match the words. “Saw all sorts of wild things.  You’d have loved it.  We were going to make it to the coast- we never did.  But you’d have loved it,” he reflected somberly.

You sighed, imagining how incredible it would be.  To think that he thought of you in such interesting places made you wonder if he would be willing to go with you, like you’d always wanted.

“Maybe we should go,” you suggested hesitantly.

“No, you’d have a terrible time,” he deflected.

“But you just said I’d have loved it,” you remembered.

“I meant being there, but travelling?  You don’t have the constitution for it,” he scoffed.

“What I don’t have the constitution for is staying here,” you countered, sadness palpable in your voice.

“Well, now that I’m back I’m wishing I’d never left,” he groaned.

“Don’t be ridiculous.  Please tell me you won’t be staying long,” you replied incredulously.

“Best not to, I suppose.  Maybe I’ll go to the coast on my own-” he began.

“Take me with you,” you pleaded, gripping his doublet, having lost all sense of dignity, “I need to leave this place.  I can’t die in this town, Julian.  I need to see the world!  I’ve never seen the ocean, the mountains-”

“No,” he repeated.

“Please,” you begged.

“I don’t do that anymore,” he grumbled, turning away to pick up his bag and starting to walk away. “It’s over, alright?”

“What?”

“I was travelling with someone but… I guess I drove him as crazy as I always drove you.  And he told me to leave him alone,” he sighed.

You felt guilty for pressing on it, not realizing it was still a sore spot.

“You didn’t drive me crazy,” you comforted, “not really.”

“I think I’m just too much.  I’m too intense for most people,” he explained.

“Most people are terrible,” you groaned. “Remember how we talked when we were young?  How everyone was so pompous and ridiculous and fake?”

“Yeah,” he smiled a little at the memory.

“Well, we were right.  I mean, I know we were whiny little brats,” you smirked, “but this town hasn’t changed much.  All gossip and nonsense.”

“It’s not this town, it’s the whole Continent,” he corrected.  “Trust me, I’ve seen a lot of it, and people are the same everywhere.”

You didn’t say anything at first.

“Except you,” he added, “of course.”

You smiled but it hurt when he said things like that.  All the “love you like a sister” crap that made being his friend so painful, and now more than ever you couldn’t escape from it.  Of course a part of you was glad to see him again, but now that he was in front of you, it was like not even a day had passed since he left: you still loved him so completely, so desperately, and so pointlessly.  

~

You heard him singing, ever so quietly, from around the corner.  You always thought he had a lovely voice but he’d never liked to play for you.  He said it gave him stage fright, something he failed to experience on actual stages.  You figured he was just holding out on you, for whatever reason.  You didn’t want to spy but also you couldn’t really help it, since you were visiting his family’s home and he had been silly enough to play a song with the door open.  He started and stopped and started over a few times, but once he got going for good, you were close enough to be able to hear the words…

She is the sun, bright and unforgivingBurning the grass and drying the rainI never looked at her, afraid to go blindI loved her light though she brought me such pain

She is the sun and when she walks awayThe world gets colder though the sky is in bloomAs the sun sets I ask if I’ve lost my chance foreverBut she could never stay and to the night I am doomed

“Ah, fuck, doomed doesn’t really rhyme with bloom, does it?” he interrupted himself.  You jumped a little, not realizing how entranced you were by the song, and you reached up to wipe a few stray tears from your cheeks.  You couldn’t be mad at him for singing a song about another woman when he didn’t even know you could hear, but you were angry regardless.  Moreso than angry, just sad.  Wasn’t love supposed to make you feel good?  Loving Julian was a thankless job, certainly.

“What are you doing out here?” he asked, and you jumped again, not even having noticed he’d turned the corner.

“Just mopping,” you blurted out.

He looked around for a moment with a raised eyebrow.

“…where’s your mop, then?” he (fairly) queried.

“Still in the kitchen,” you explained, “I’m planning where I’m going to mop.”

“I figured you could sort of just wing it with mopping.  Didn’t realize there was a pre-mopping phase.”

“Oh, absolutely,” you nodded, “it’s really important.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want to keep you.  Get on with it,” he encouraged, starting to go back into his room.

“Wait,” you prompted.  He stopped, turning back to face you. “I liked the song.”

“I was hoping you hadn’t heard that,” he replied nervously.

“Why?”

“I didn’t want anyone to hear it until it was finished,” he explained.

“And when it’s finished, will you play it at the local pub or something?” you asked, remembering his earliest performances when you were fifteen or so.

“No, too personal for that: I was planning to play it for the subject,” he explained.  You winced.

“I’m sure she’ll love it,” you responded quietly

“Yeah, the Countess is fickle and all but she usually spreads her legs for a good song,” he smiled mischievously.

Thinking of him with someone else, especially like that, made you want to vomit… then you would actually need to mop.  

“Why did you come here?” you asked him, finally, after wanting to understand for so long.

“I… I needed some time at home,” he answered, but you didn’t buy it.

“Why now?  And why did you come to my door?” you growled.

“Are you offended by that?  Am I not allowed to visit a friend?” he responded in confusion.

“I didn’t even realize we were still friends!” you admitted.

“Why wouldn’t we be?” he asked like it made no sense at all, and you were thankful you weren’t holding anything because you likely would’ve thrown it.

“You left without a proper warning, I didn’t hear from you at all for… a long fucking time, and now you have the audacity to come back!” you barked.  “I already gave you everything, and you threw it away, searching for adventure!  What could you possibly want from me now?”

"It’s just my selfishness, I suppose, but I wanted to know there was someone out there who still cared for me,” he defended.

"You’re asking me if I care for you?  Is that really what’s on your mind?” you asked incredulously.  He didn’t respond, seeming confused.You felt tears sting the back of your eyes, rage burning through your chest.  You were tired of lying, tired of running around and being his pet all so you could be near him when he wanted nothing from you but a reminder he wasn’t totally alone in the world after he’d burned every bridge- including the one you had been standing on, waiting, for all these years.

“Julian Alfred Pankratz, I will love you until the day I die.  I promise you that.”  You tried to say it with the anger, hatred even, that you felt, but most of it was lost as your voice wavered from crying.  You turned away and walked outside, sobbing so hard you weren’t sure that you would be able to walk home properly.  You did, eventually, and immediately crawled into bed and cried yourself to sleep.

~

Maybe it wasn’t even noon yet, but it felt like time for a drink.  The pub was empty, at least at first; halfway through your fourth mug, an old acquaintance, Viktor, walked in and sat beside you.

“Bit early for that, isn’t it?” he frowned.  

“Then what are you doing here?” you asked.

“Looking for you,” he answered.

You chuckled, considering how disappointed he must be to find you like this: eyes still swollen from crying, half-drunk, more cynical and calloused than ever.

“So, listen, I’ve been thinking,” Viktor began, and you fought the urge to roll your eyes.  Despite being nearly an old maid at this point, Viktor had always sought you.  You’d known him your whole life and he was always a pest: rude, aggressive, dull.  Dumb enough to think you hadn’t realized his feelings for you.  He had proposed marriage twice, never having much of a better reason than “we’re both still single and it would make our families happy if we married.”  And now here he was, bothering you while you were trying to have a drink in peace, presumably so he could do it all over again.

“I’m not here to ask you to marry me,” he clarified, as if reading your mind.  You perked up a bit at that.

“I’m finally too old for you?” you scoffed.

“Don’t be like that,” he frowned, “you’re not old.  It makes perfect sense to me that you’re unmarried at this age, even if everyone calls you an old hag and a spinster.”

Viktor had a way of trying to be nice but it always ending in an insult.  Not that it was news to you that people talked about you that way.

“And why do you think I’m unmarried?” you pressed.

“Because you haven’t gotten to know anybody well enough,” he posited. “Look, I’ve known you my whole life, so I always figured I knew you well enough for marriage, but I see that you’re right now.  We don’t really know each other that way.”

You nodded. “Good, you’ve come to see reason then.”

“There must be some way that we could, though,” he added. “A date; courting.”

“Courting?  I’m not fourteen,” you grimaced.

“Whatever you’d want to call it.  I’d come by tomorrow and we’d go for a walk.  And we’d talk about whatever we wanted to, and we’d see how we get along when it’s just us,” he offered.

“Sound boring,” you mumbled.

“Don’t be so mean,” he requested.

“I was always mean and you still fell for me.”

“I was always nice and you still ignore me.  If you would just stop chasing something you’ll never get-” he began, but as you looked at him he stopped and started over.  “You have to stop hurting yourself over people who don’t care about you,” he explained. “If you gave me a chance, you’d appreciate how nice it feels to know someone cares for you.”

I wanted to know there was someone out there who still cared for me, you remembered Julian saying.  Apparently everyone else wanted to be cared for, but you were too busy caring to consider your own feelings.  You were so tired of fighting for Julian and rebuffing Viktor and shouldering the burden of spinsterhood in a conservative town like this one.

“Alright, come by tomorrow, then,” you acquiesced.  Viktor smiled.

“You won’t regret it- you’ll learn to appreciate me,” he predicted as he stood up to leave.

“The beginning of every successful relationship,” you replied sarcastically, but he seemed to take you literally.  What a moron.  At least he was nice enough- and actually had the integrity and honesty to tell you how he felt… not that you felt particularly integritous after your confession to Julian.  But you were optimistic; maybe this was a step in the right direction.  So why did the idea of letting go of him, even when you had known you needed to for years, hurt so deeply?

~

You stayed drunk through the afternoon but stopped drinking after a while, so you could go to bed sober.  You stayed up later than normal, avoiding sleep and the torturous dreams of love that it always brought.  It had started to rain- downpour, actually- and the thunder would’ve kept you up anyhow.

You heard a knock at your door and answered hesitantly, unsure who would be coming by so late.  When you opened it you saw Julian, soaked through with rain, looking like a lost puppy.  Of course you wanted to invite him in from the rain but you were still angry so you let him stand out there a bit longer.

“What are you doing here?” you asked.

He looked at you, and when you looked back into his eyes, you saw it.  You understood instantly what was really going on.

“Oh, oh no,” you reprimanded as you stepped back, wagging a finger at him. “No, Julian- don’t you dare.”

“I can’t help it,” he defended.

“No, no, don’t you dare love me now!” you ordered.

“Why can’t I?” he asked quietly, stepping towards you, through the doorway and out of the rain.  You stepped back again, running into a wall and bracing against it.

“It’s too late.  Jules, after all these years…” you trailed off, but then shook your head. “It’s too late,” you repeated.

“It can’t be too late,” he refused, “there has to be another chance.”

“You ran out of chances,” you explained, starting to cry, “it’s over.  Julian, it’s too late.  At some point, it has to be too late.”

“There has to be another chance for us,” he asserted.  You sobbed when you heard him say that word, ‘us.’

“Jules, no,” you wept, “I waited for so long.  I thought that if I loved you hard enough, that you would have to love me back.  And you left.  Julian, you left.  I had to give up.  I had to let it go.  I had to stop loving you.”

“But you didn’t,” he remembered, and you watched as a tear ran down his own face.

“Because you’re my fucking curse!” you screamed. “You’re my ghost!  You fucking haunt me!  Loving you has taken everything from me!”

“I never asked you to love me all those years!” he countered, his voice raising but not matching yours.

“But you’re asking me to now,” you scoffed.

“I’m not asking for anything.  I just need you to know the truth,” he explained.

“Bullshit,” you spat. “You came here because I was always your back-up plan.  You tired of whoring around, and you decided to come back because I was the stable option, the safe option.  You never wanted my love, you just wanted my attention.���

“For a long time, I didn’t understand the difference between love and attention,” he responded with a quiet, somber tone.  Your anger subsided partially.  “I didn’t understand the need for loyalty or reliability.  And then I lost everything.  The first thing I thought of when I considered coming here wasn’t my family, my house, my culture.  It was you.  I wanted to go home,” his voice began to waver tearfully, “and coming back to you was coming home.  I lost everything and all I had left was you.  And it’s not because you were my second choice.  It’s because I’m a fucking idiot who couldn’t see how much I needed you until-”

“Until it was too late,” you finished.

“Don’t say that,” he pleaded, stepping towards you again, this time touching you, grabbing your arms gently but with urgency.  His hands were warm, even when they were wet with cold rain. “Gods, don’t say that, please.”

You looked up at him and cried; you cried because you knew that there was no ending for you but heartbreak. 

“The day I met you, when I was just a few years old, was the day my life was ruined,” you whispered. “Cursed forever to live a life at your beck and call, because I loved you with everything I had.  I’ve never been able to stop, even when I hated you and even when I needed to let you go and move on so that I could live.  Julian, I waited my whole life for you…”

“You don’t have to wait anymore,” he whispered back, leaning down as his face moved closer to yours.  You whimpered weakly, your crying beginning to soothe.  His hand wiped your tears away, and you rested your face into his palm.  His touch was so warm, delicate, comforting.  

“I love you,” he confessed, examining your face.  You nodded, still crying partially from the initial hurt and partially from a solemn joy of everything you ever wanted suddenly right in front of you.  He was so close now that his face was just a few centimetres from yours, you could even feel his breath, see every drop of water running down from his hair into his face.  “Tell me it isn’t over,” he begged.

“It was never over,” you reassured, closing the distance between you and kissing him softly.  You were both still crying, just a little, perhaps mourning all the time lost that you could never get back.  And yet, all the anger of the past and the fear of the future washed away, and all that was left was being together in this moment.  The hand on your face moved to hold your head and neck, and the other pulled you closer at the waist.  Feeling his body pressed against yours was like cozying up to a warm fireplace, his presence a golden glow against the cold, dark world outside.  You wrapped your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss and starting to fall back into his arms.  He held you tightly, the wetness of his clothes soaking through yours quickly.  You didn’t even gasp when he picked you up, too lost in the kiss and trusting him too much to be afraid of falling.  He carried you down the hall, kicking the bedroom door open but setting you down onto the quilt gently.

~ 

You awoke to sunlight streaming in through the window, and the feeling of Julian’s fingers running through your hair.  You turned to face him, appreciating how lovely he looked washed in the sunrise.  You indulged yourself in looking at his muscular shoulders and chest where they weren’t covered by the bedsheets.

“Good morning,” he smiled.

“I can’t believe that really happened,” you whispered, mostly to yourself.

“I can,” he replied. “It makes perfect sense, doesn’t it?”

“Yes,” you answered, feeling yourself blush a bit. 

“We should go somewhere,” he suggested suddenly.

“Where?” you asked.

“Wherever you’d like,” he shrugged.  You ran your fingers down his chest, admiring the thick layer of dark hair, imagining all the places you could go.

“Take me to the ocean, then,” you requested.

“The middle of the ocean?  Or is the coast alright?” he smirked.

You laughed.

“I’m serious!” he defended. “I’m not opposed to sailing.  It’s rather peaceful.”

“It’s gorgeous, isn’t it?  The water?” you imagined.

“Nothing quite like it,” he smiled serenely.

“Promise you’ll take me,” you demanded.

“I promise,” he whispered as he moved a stray lock of hair out of your face.

“Soon?” you pressed.

“There’s nothing keeping us here.  We could leave tomorrow if you’d like,” he offered. 

“Not planning on running off without me again, are you?  This wasn’t all some convoluted ploy to get me into bed?” you asked, mostly joking.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he laughed, sitting up and pulling you closer.  Soon he was hovering over you, and your legs wrapped around his waist before you could even think about it.

“Twice in a night didn’t satisfy you?” he smirked.

“I’m not sure I’ll ever be satisfied,” you replied.

“And to think you accused me of wanting to run off!  I’m not sure I’ll ever get out of this bed, if you have your way,” he teased, leaning down to kiss your neck.

“I waited so long for this,” you explained, “I suppose my patience has run thin.”

“Then I won’t keep you waiting any longer,” he growled, and you bit your lip as you smiled.

You startled when you heard a knock on the front door.

“Who’d be coming by at this hour?” Julian asked with confusion.

As if to answer, you heard Viktor’s voice coming from across the house: “Are you all right?” 

“Fuck,” you whispered, rolling out from under him and hopping out of the bed.  Despite the commotion and the events of the night previous, Julian still took a moment to look you up and down as your naked form was exposed.  “I forgot he was coming over today,” you hissed.

“Tell him to bugger off,” he scoffed.

“Alright, but I need to get dressed and you need to stay hidden,” you commanded.

You searched for your clothing strewn about the floor, slipping back on your wrinkled dress and attempting to make some sense of your hair.

Dressed enough to answer the door, you shooed a half-clothed Julian into a corner where he couldn’t be seen from the entryway.  You dashed down the hall and opened the door, and Viktor was waiting on the other side.

“Viktor!  Good morning!” you said cheerfully, holding the door only enough to fit your body into it, hoping he wouldn’t see much of the messy room behind you.

“Isn’t that what you were wearing last night?” he noticed instantly.  You sighed, not realizing your plan wouldn’t last even through one sentence.  What you especially didn’t realize was that, upon understanding what most likely had happened, Viktor would push past you, entering in a rage.

“Wait, stop!” you protested, but it was too late.  Viktor stormed towards the bedroom, from which Julian had emerged and then immediately started to run away. 

“You,” Viktor growled as he pointed to the topless bard.

“Hey, long time no see!” Julian cheered weakly.

“Bastard!” Viktor bellowed, chasing Julian down and pinning him against the wall. 

“Stop!” you demanded, rushing towards them.  Viktor released Julian only for a moment to grab you by the collar of your dress, and you yelped.

“I’ll deal with you next, whore!” he spat, the back of his hand slapping you across the face so hard that you spun onto the floor.

Julian launched at Viktor, the two falling next to you on the ground and wrestling in a flurry of punches.  You tried to kick them off of each other but the fight grew more brutal quickly.  Soon Viktor had forced Julian onto the ground and was punching him over and over, each hit bloodying his face more and more.

“Stop, please!” you begged, but he wasn’t listening.  You were sure that he was going to kill him, and you scrambled towards your bedside chest.  Opening it, your dagger was laid right on top, and you wasted no time grabbing it and running over to the two of them.  You grunted as you swung the blade down, stabbing Viktor in the back.  He cried out, falling onto his side on the floor.  Julian weakly sat up, sliding along the ground to get away from his attacker.  You watched Viktor struggle for a moment and then relax, a large pool of blood already forming under him.  You rushed to Julian’s side on the floor, examining his face.

“I’ll be fine,” he reassured before you could even ask.

“It looks pretty bad,” you winced.

“You saved me- I thought he was going to kill me,” he groaned.

“I couldn’t let you go that easy,” you smiled.  Julian closed his eyes, leaning his back against the wall as he sat in the corner of the room.  You looked at him with a smile: even bloodied and beaten he looked like everything you’d ever wanted.

You stood up and turned around, hoping to be able to care for Viktor’s wound, and everything happened so fast that you were on the floor before you realized exactly what had occurred.  You looked up just in time to see Viktor topple to the ground and die, a trail of blood behind him.  The wound in his back was empty, and you looked down to see your own dagger plunged into your gut.

“No!” Julian yelled, crawling towards you and examining the wound before grabbing your face. “No, no, no, no,” he rushed, tears running down his face as he scrambled around you to try to decide what to do.

“Julian,” you tried to soothe him, feeling a burning heat radiating from where you’d been stabbed.

“Oh Gods, I’ll go get someone- there must be a healer nearby-” he began desperately.

“Julian, look at me,” you requested, your voice weaker.  You felt so tired.  He obeyed, the fear in his expression clear even as you couldn’t see him that well through your tears.

“It’s over,” you whispered.

“No, no, it’s not,” he reassured as he shook his head, “it can’t be.  You’re going to be okay.  And we’re going to be together.”

"We were together, and it was beautiful,” you remembered, stopping to cough which sprayed blood from your mouth.

“It’s not over,” he repeated, but the way his voice wavered made it clear that he didn’t believe it entirely.  “I can’t lose you again.”

It was getting harder to fight to stay awake, and you didn’t want to fight anymore.  You felt like if you just let go, you could fall back into something warm and dark and peaceful.  And you were ready to let it wrap around you and take you home.  He grabbed your hand and held it in his, planting a kiss on your knuckles and holding your fingers against his forehead.  His touch kept you lucid a bit longer, but your fingers were already so cold…

“I kept my promise,” you whispered, a warm tear rolling down your cheek as you felt everything blur and soften, your vision narrowing down to a point even though you couldn’t tell if your eyes were closing.

“No, no, please don’t go…" Julian’s begging faded away into the quiet static of sleep.  

~

You startled awake, and instantly you couldn’t see or breathe.  Your body flailed against the oppressive darkness and you felt it moving against you, felt that there was something to struggle against.  Pushing back against the weight, your hands were suddenly cold and you remembered the feeling as air.  Sitting up, you were freed, coughing hoarsely as you breathed for the first time you could remember in a long time.  Opening your eyes, you saw you were on the beach, surrounded by and covered in sand.  You looked behind you and observed the hole you had just crawled out of.  Just above where your head must’ve been lay a pile of rocks, and remnants of dead flowers.  This was a burial ground.  Your burial ground.

You vaguely remembered dying, the sensation of holding Julian’s hand as you slipped away.  You could imagine it so clearly that it almost felt real, like you’d only let go of him a moment ago.  You reached down to your stomach where the knife had been, and found a bloodied hole in your clothes but no damage on your skin.  

You touched your hair and it was braided.  You looked through the sand and found flowers everywhere, even a bouquet.  You began to cry as you realized that Julian had kept his promise to take you to the ocean, and even gone so far as to prepare your body for a funeral and decorate your sandy coffin with flowers.

There has to be another chance, his words from the night before you died rang in your head.  You stood up, your legs still a little wobbly as you got used to walking again.  But quickly you were running, determined on your mission to find Julian and fix this for good.  You weren’t sure how you were alive, but you knew why: he and your teenage self were right.  You were meant to be together.  And now not even Death could stop you.

~

“Tell me the date,” you demanded as you swung open the door to the mage’s office.  He motioned to an astrological calendar on the wall, and you examined it.  

“It’s been exactly a year,” you realized aloud.

“Since when?” the mage asked curiously.

“Since I died,” you said casually.

The mage stood up, pulling out a chair and gesturing towards it.

“Please, have a seat,” he requested.

~

“I’m not sure I came back from the dead,” you groaned as you looked at yourself in the mirror.  You saw some features that you shared with your memory of how you’d looked before, but you saw yourself as a stranger.  Everything you’d hated about your face and body (and there was a lot) was gone.  No pockmarks from your childhood illness.  No wrinkles around your eyes and mouth.  Stronger jawline, bigger eyes, fuller lips.  Your hair was fuller as well, and even the colour was different.  It wasn’t like looking at an entirely different person necessarily, moreso just yourself with several minor changes that really added up, but it was quite the shock regardless.

“In my experience with resurrection, a physical change is normal,” the mage explained.

“You have experience with resurrection?” you asked incredulously as you turned to him.

“No,” he frowned.

You grimaced, looking back to yourself in the mirror, tugging at your skin as if the mask would peel off and you’d look like the old you again.

“So, you don’t know how or why you’ve changed?” the mage interrogated.

“Yes, of course,” you sighed.

“And you don’t know how or why you’re alive?” he asked.

“I don’t know how,” you answered, “but I know why.”

The mage waited for an explanation.

“Love,” you stated plainly.  “Do you think love can create miracles?”

He pondered for a moment before he replied. “Destiny gets her way,” he decided, “and even Death bends to her will.”

“I’ve always known he was my destiny,” you remembered.

“I have to say, I’ve had quite a peculiar day,” the mage admitted.  You glared at him.  “Not quite peculiar enough to compete with yours, of course, but peculiar nonetheless.  I don’t usually spend all day talking about destiny.”

“I thought that was normal fare for a mage.”

“Most people come here asking to either lift a curse or cast one.  Destiny is a rarer issue.  Just before you came in, I was discussing it with someone else- a witcher, if you’d believe it,” he recalled.

“I’d believe anything now,” you smirked.

“Say, do witchers normally have travelling companions?”

Your face dropped and you stood up from your seat.

“Tell me where they went,” you demanded.

“I try to offer my clients privacy, a sense of discretion-” he began, but he choked when you grabbed him by the collar.

“Tell me where they were headed, now,” you repeated through your teeth.

~

“You’ve aged more in the past year than you did in all our travels together,” Geralt observed.

“I lost everything,” was all Jaskier said.

Suddenly he looked to the horizon, not for any reason, just a feeling that he should.  Staring ahead he saw a silhouette begin to emerge from over the hill.  You looked back at him and you prepared to explain who you were, what had happened, why you changed (not that you understood all of that yourself).  Instead he started to run to you, and you couldn’t fight back your ecstatic smile as you began to run to him as well.  When you met in the middle he embraced you, spinning you around and pulling you into a kiss that made you feel properly alive again, more than before.

“It was never over,” he told you quietly as he pulled back from the kiss.  

“How did you know it was me?” you asked, running your fingers down his cheek. “You buried me.  I look completely different.  I don’t even recognize myself.”

“I could just… tell,” he shrugged.

“But how?” you demanded.

“Because it’s you,” he answered simply, using his hand to brush some hair out of your face. “It was always you.”

You kissed him again, with enough passion to make up for the all the time lost, and yet, brimming with hope and excitement for the future.

[shellsan]

30 Day Writing Challenge

Day Twenty-Five: Bone

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe

Pairing: ThunderIron

Disclaimer: I do not own the MCU

Bone

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Walking into the compound, Thor frowned at the lack of welcome. He had been gone for almost a month, much longer than anticipated, but now that he was finally home, he was eager to see his Anthony.

His lips twitched into a grin at the thought of his love.

Yes, one earth month without him had been far too long, but it would be well worth it – or at least it would be if Anthony accepted.

“Jarvis, where is Anthony?”

It was silent for a moment before the AI responded, voice colder than Thor was used to. “Sir is currently in the workshop with Colonel Rhodes.”

The aesir frowned as he tried to figure out if he had done something of offence before he'd left, but drew a blank. Perhaps the computer was merely in a bad mood? He was, after all, the closest thing to human that could ever be built.

“Thank you.”

Deciding not to dwell on it further, he stepped into the elevator, requesting that Jarvis take him down to the workshop.

The AI did so without saying a word.

Humming to himself, Thor held the gift he'd searched hard for packed safely in it's gift box (as was the tradition on Earth). He really hoped that Tony accepted it and the gifts that it brought, but he couldn't help but twitch a little nervous that he wouldn't.

When the metal doors slid open, the workshop open to him as always, Thor smiled widely, catching a glimpse of Anthony through the glass windows, talking with Rhodes.

“Anthony!” He boomed, stepping into the room properly. “I have returned.”

For a moment there was silence, and Thor's eyebrows furrowed when the two men in front of them exchanged a look, Anthony's pleading and Rhodes... well Rhodes did not look happy at all.

“How dare you?” Rhodey hissed, stepping towards him menacingly.

Tilting his head, Thor only felt more confused. “How dare I what?”

“Yes, Thor, how dare you show up like this after an entire month away, acting like you have any right to be here. After what you did? I should beat you into the fucking ground.”

“I'm not sure I understand what it is I have done to cause you offence, Colonel. Although I apologise for whatever it may be...” He trailed off, uncertain, eyes moving over to Tony to try understand, only to find his lover staring at the ground instead.

Rhodey let out a sharp sounding laugh. “Don't understand. Don't understand?! I trusted you with the life of my best friend, my brother in all but blood, and your way of paying me back was hurting him even more. What else is there to understand?”

Thor swallowed thickly, unsure of what to make of this situation. The anger was right on his tongue, but he forced it down. It wouldn't do to anger the Colonel further.

And yelling at his lover's friend was a sure way to get him in trouble.

Or in more trouble, he supposed, considering the lack of denial from Anthony about what Rhodes was saying.

“I would never hurt Anthony.” He denied finally, voice soft as he looked over to the man he loved. “At least not intentionally. Please, tell me at least what I've done so I might explain myself, or understand your anger.”

Rhodes looked even angrier if that was possible, but for the first time since this interaction had begun, Anthony looked up.

“That's enough, Rhodey. I can handle this.”

The colonel was reluctant, turning to look at Tony. “Are you sure?”

Tony nodded. “I promise I'll be fine. We can talk more later, okay?”

For a moment Thor was sure that Rhodes was going to refuse, but a firmer look from Anthony had him nodding back.

“Fine. For the record I don't like this, and if he hurts you again I'm kicking his ass. In fact, I still might kick his ass just to prove that I can and that I will.” The last words were directed towards the aesir, and he found himself nodding understanding, despite feeling completely out of his depth still.

After that, Rhodes made his way out of the room, muttering about idiot gods and the best ways to kill them under his breath, shooting one last glare towards Thor before the elevator door slid shut behind him.

Finally alone, Thor allowed his attention to settle solely on Anthony, taking in the details of his face that screamed of his age, as well as his stress.

“Will you tell what slight I have performed against you?” Thor asked finally, the first to break the silence.

Anthony hesitated for a moment before his voice filled the room. “You left.”

Thor frowned. “I told you that I was returning to Asgard for the while, did I not?”

Was he remembering incorrectly? He could have sworn...

“Yes, you did.”

So he wasn't incorrect in that. But then, what was the problem?

“You told me you'd be gone for a while. I expected you to be gone a couple weeks, three at max. You were gone for almost five weeks Thor.”

“I'm not sure I understand, Anthony-”

“Stop, just stop.” Anthony cut him off, and Thor let his mouth click shut quietly, nodding.

“You were gone for five weeks, Thor. I'm not getting any younger here, and give weeks isn't just 'a while' for me. That's a long time. Even longer without any word of whether or not you were okay. I was terrified that I would get a notice from gatekeeper guy telling me that you'd gone and gotten yourself killed. Or that you'd found the real love of your life, someone else immortal, not some washed up old earthling like myself. And then you show up here like nothing has changed in five weeks, like the world stopped turning for five weeks while you were gone. Newsflash, Thor, it didn't. It kept turning, and I had to keep living. Wondering if you were even still alive.”

The words if you were even coming back weren't said, but they were heard none-the-less, and it reminded Thor that this man wasn't always as strong as he seemed.

Perhaps he should let the colonel kill him just on the principle of the thing. He certainly deserved it.

But his Anthony wasn't done yet, determined to clear the air before Thor got a word in edgewise.

“I'm not just some toy for you to play with, Thor. I don't do flings any more. If I'm giving my heart to you, broken though it may be, and I can't be with you if you aren't willing to do the same.” He said finally, voice straining with the effort not to cry, eyes watering slightly.

For a moment Thor was shocked and silence reigned in the room, before the aesir realised where this talk was going, memories of something similar with Jane coming to mind.

But this time, it hurt a lot more than when Jane had said something similar, much closer to ripping his heart out, and suddenly the thought of losing Anthony made everything so much more bleak, no longer worth living for.

“Anthony.” He started finally, voice breaking a little. When he wasn't stopped, he continued. “If you no longer love me, then I will not deny you-”

“It's not-”

“Anthony, I let you speak, now you must do the same for me. Please.”

The smaller man nodded, mouth clicking shut similarly to how his own had before.

“Thank you. If you no longer love me, then I can not, would never, force you to stay with me. I am sorry that my actions these past months have caused you sadness, it was never my intention. I just wish for you to understand why I was gone for that long.”

The timing seemed all wrong now, but Thor revealed the wrapped gift box from behind his back, holding it towards Anthony, only to have to place it down on the counter – something that hasn't happened since their relationship had begun (and it broke his heart all the more to see the distrust return).

“If you do not wish to accept this gift, I will not be angry. Nor will I force you to stay with me even if you do accept it. You deserve this, Anthony, and I only wish to offer you the chances it might bring you.” He said finally, before waving for the other man to open.

Anthony's movement were slow and measure, calculating even in something this simple.

Neither spoke as the wrapping was uncovered, and the lid removed to reveal the shining golden apple, surrounded by red tissue paper to keep it safe.

“Is this-” Anthony gasped out, mind connecting the pieces easily, eyes watering just after they'd finally begun to dry.

“An apple of Idunn, the giver of immortality.” Thor confirmed, nodding. “I had hoped to give this to you under better circumstances, but if you are to leave me, then I would have you know that I truly did wish for us to be together. Forever. This was never a fling for me, Anthony. And I don't think I could ever love another as much as I love you.”

After the admission, there was silence once more, before a broken sound escaped Anthony's lips.

“Yes.”

Thor frowned a little. “Yes?”

There was laughter, choked up from the tears, but still so very fond, and it warmed Thor to the core.

“Yes. I accept this apple.”

Thor lit up, before he sobered slightly. “And me?”

Tony looked at him seriously. “I'm not going to lie to you, Thor. You fucked up. I'm not a mind reader, and I need you to communicate to me your thoughts like this or this is not going to last even close to forever. Yes, I accept you too. I love you, you idiot, and I hated having to imagine my life without you. But you have a lot to make up for.”

The aesir grinned, rushing forwards to pull Anthony into his arms, only to stop a millimetre away, unsure of whether or not his affection would be accepted.

Anthony rolled his eyes. “Yes you can touch me.”

Practically glowing at being given permission, Thor engulfed him, lifting the man slightly of the ground, holding on tight, terrified to let go ever again. “I will do what ever it takes to prove my love to you once more, Anthony. For however long it takes.” He promised, the words soft.

He felt Anthony swallow. “That may take a very long time.” He warned.

Thor squeezed him tighter. “And every moment of it will be worth it.”

And it was.

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 401

Oh hey, y’all. We’re back for another season of that show we keep watching in hopes it’ll get back to its season one glory Outlander! Since I’m incapable of keeping my Opinions to myself and have no filter after a few drinks, I’m gonna do drunk recaps that no one asked for or wants again this year. Because why not. So buckle up, randos, because under the cut you will find nothing of substance, zero insights and absolutely no analysis!

Before I dive into the stream of consciousness, quasi-incoherent beat-by-beat nonsense, I just want to say that I overall liked this episode. I definitely enjoyed it more from the comfort of my own couch than in the theater with thousands of screaming sycophants at NYCC. It definitely had me singing along to the Federalist Papers part of Non Stop all day though. A series of scenes, tangentially related, introducing the Colonies to the public. Some are obviously just there to just set up the plot of the season or like check a residual box from last season. But some are solid world-building and character moments. And, because it’s Outlander, some are like *side eye*.

But I’m for real excited for the first half of this season! The second half of Drums is a dumpster fire (fucking Rogergate...) and it seems like the show is going to stick pretty close to the book, so I’m going to try my hardest to not let preemptive feelings about that nonsense cloud potential enjoyment of the first bit. Because dammit, I love me some domestic!Frasers. So yeah, happy end of hiatus, y’all!

Ok I don’t want to start off on a downer note, but jfc. I get what they were going for with the 2000 B.C. stone circle stuff, but omg no. I don’t care if certain indigenous peoples really did make stone circles and dance around them as the sun rose. I know they’re trying to show the universality of circles and these time portal thingies or whatever, but by making the parallel with the druids at Craigh na Dun, it’s basically being like “Oh hey! These Native American folks from *checks notes* North America are just like the white folks we’ve been hanging with for the last three seasons!” It came off to me like erasing the unique cultures of the diverse peoples of North America in favor of framing them as a generic group of “natives” who do the white people stone dance. And in a season that’s going to deal heavily with multiple tribes, this really isn’t giving me much confidence in how they’re going to handle the rest of the Native American characters.

I’m really hoping someone else will articulate that better than I did. Because I feel like I’m not communicating well what my actual issue with the sequence was.

Petition to make Jamie wear a hat at all times to hide his horrible bangs.

Gavin Hayes has to be being hanged for literally the dumbest crime ever. But he seems pretty chill about it so...

Ok I never liked book!Bonnet as a character (like obvi he’s a terrible person so I was never going to like him as a person, but I was always annoyed that he was still around rather than appreciating him as a villain), but even from that presumptuous “yeah can I snag some rum too, bruh” in the jail, I’m like solidly on board with show!Bonnet.

Jamie tried to save Hayes, but you see Hayes straight up killed a guy. Sure it was in self-defense, but, y’know, ye olde times and he did kill the dude. Sooo...

I want to feel for Lesley, I really do, but I’ve never actually given a shit or been given a good reason to give a shit about Rupert and Angus 3.0 so, sorry for your loss?

Unpopular opinion alert (should be the standard disclaimer on all of my #hottakes) but I really don’t care for the new theme music. Every time they change it, I find myself wanting the OG season one music back with just the images updated.

The bald eagle for the title card just gives me such mixed feelings that have nothing to do with the show. Like here’s a symbol of my country and it *should* invoke good feelings, but *gestures at the current political climate* every national symbol at the moment feels tainted by the growing white nationalist movement that’s being spurred on by the current administration.

Time for some post hanging brewskis. We are here to mourn Gavin Hayes. Who died only so the new villain could be introduced. Let us bow our heads.

Marsali and Fergus win the prize for least subtle “can we be excused to go bang” ever. Rock on, Fersali.

I fucking LOVE that they changed the tavern scene so everyone sings with them like they know what’s going on rather than how in the book it was like them making fun of the red coats as part of Gavin’s song and then Fergus passed around a hat for coins. But by having everyone in the tavern in on what’s going down and earnestly participating, it establishes that 20+ years after the failed Rising, after the Clearances, after everything the Scots went through at the hands of the English, they were not truly defeated. They may have moved across an ocean, but they are still Scottish and they still practice their traditions and dammit I’m having feelings about those resilient motherfuckers.

The scene with Jamie and Ian is very well done and I’m SO glad they included it because they did in fact include his rape last year, but fuck the show for including that rape in the first place. A very similar version of this scene could have been done without the rape, there’s enough trauma involved in being kidnapped, taken across the ocean, held hostage by a batshit lady and knowing that everyone else she kidnapped ended up dead for one 16 year old kid. With Jamie’s rape we got two episodes of trauma and four of recovery. With Mary, Fergus and Ian, we get three child rapes that could have all been avoided (especially Ian’s, but the plot points that come from Mary’s and Fergus’ could have definitely come about without them actually being raped), and they all just got one brief scene to express their trauma and then everything’s hunky dory again. (We know they’re going to include Bree’s rape, also fuck them very much for that, it’s completely unnecessary, and I’m guessing we’ll spend some time with her on her recovery. But that’s a rant for when we get there...)

For real though, Jamie parroting Claire as he comforts Ian is super sweet, but it makes me skeptically nervous for how he’ll react to Bree’s. Since in the book, it’s...not great.

Stephen Bonnet is so delightfully smarmy. Also, how fucking naive is our main squad now all of a sudden that they don’t realize from the jump what a sociopath he is? C’mon, y’all. Like I know Jamie came close to being hanged or whatever, but literally everything about this dude screams that he’s bad news. He is not subtle in his I’m a straight up unapologetic and charismatic good guy criminal. And like, he’s a friend of Gavin? Come the fuck on, squad. HOW DO YOU NOT SEE THAT HE IS FULL OF SHIT. *gets Det. JJ Bittenbinder on the horn*

For real though, dodgy accent aside, I fucking love Ed Speleers in this role. Why the fuck do they have to include the rape. Can’t he just be a bastard without being a rapist? Why must you make me rage, show. I just want to enjoy a decent villain.

Jamie and Claire are doing their best Jean Ralphio and Mona Lisa Saperstein trying to talk their way through this checkpoint.

“You’ve never parted with the ring from the first?” Yeah, I don’t get it either, Bonnet my dude. I don’t get it either. #FuckFrank

Bonnet talking about circles fascinating him makes me think he’d do well in a group of stoners having what they think are philosophical conversations at 3:00 a.m. “But like guys, have you ever like thought about...the rhombus?”

For real though, him being real with Claire about this drowning stuff makes him an infinitely more interesting villain than Black Jack ever was. Black Jack was kind of a crap villain tbh. He was horrible and did horrible things, yes, but like that was it. He was just horrible. Bonnet’s like oh I’ll charm you, be real with you and then fuck you up in the course of one episode and not give any of it a second thought because I have not a single fuck to give about anyone but me. I’m just out here living my best life, sorry not sorry. *puts on shades, drops mic, walks away*

For real though, his “be wary of thieves and outlaws” line might as well have been “it’s me, I’m talking about me.” And these dorks don’t even pick up on it. GUYS YOU ARE KILLING ME, YOU DIDN’T USED TO BE THIS SHITTY AT JUDGING SOMEONE’S CHARACTER.

I’m guessing this is the official christening-their-new-continent-bang because it’s too cold to do River Sex™ in Scotland. But I’m looking forward to getting the rest of Ch. 16 once they get to the Ridge. (We all saw those strawberries in the promo...)

The book lines still feel shoehorned in rather than organic to the show, but not as much as 95% of A. Malcolm felt. So I guess I need to just accept that the writers are going to keep doing this and I just need to stop expecting them to actually do their jobs and adapt for the adaptation...

For real though, I know Spotify doesn’t exist yet but jfc Jamie and Claire’s secksi time playlist literally just has this one song and guys, there’s a whole world of songs for smushing out there. My man Doug Judy would be glad to broaden your horizons.

Claire’s I just had sex smile as she looks out over the valley made me literalol.

Cool that we get woke!Jamie saying that the American Dream is a nightmare for the Native Americans after Claire’s Americana 101 speech, but this is a woman who lived in wicked racist 1960s Boston. She knows that things aren’t nice and rosy in America in the 18th *or* 20th centuries. Her speech makes me hate S3 a little more for focusing on Frank’s manpain instead of Claire and her and Joe’s time in the hospital, where the show could have explored gender and race in the 20th century to set up a contrast for how things will be this season in the 18th. Claire went through enough shit last time she was in the past, and so far this time, to know that the past isn’t idyllic. She knows enough about US history and 20th century America to know this mythical origin story she’s spouting is nothing but a fairy tale. I get why she might cling to that ideal, this is the first time in her life she might get to settle down and build a home with the person she actually wants to build a home with, but her whitewashing history like this strikes me as a way too naive for her.

The green screen as they stare out at that very much not actually there valley is killinggg me.

Ok for real though, this cut from them in the Uncanny Valley to the room getting ready for dinner is the most jarring of the episode. Like, I’ve come to terms with the fact that this is just a series of independent scenes rather than an actual, cohesive whole, but jfc. Who actually is Lillington, how do you know him? Nope? No info? Not important? Just need to get it out there that you have jewels so the last scene in the episode can happen so the ring can be taken so the rape can occur? Cool. Cool cool cool.

Ok so show!Claire makes me sad with being insecure/self-depreciating about her appearance. Like with saying brown is a dull color when Jamie calls her mo nighean donn the first time and when she asks Joe if she’s sexually attractive and when she dyes her hair before going back through the stones and now with the mutton dressed as lamb thing. (Claire, girl, how are you that up on Colonial fashion that you know what’s “age appropriate” already? Wouldn’t think there was much fashion gossip along the road from Georgia to North Carolina, but whatevs.) I know three of these four things are straight from the book, but in the show it hits me differently. Book!Claire is kind of a bitch when it comes to looks. Her parting words in her letter to Bree were “try not to get fat.” She like judged the crap out of that rando lady in Edinburgh before she went to the print shop just to make sure she didn’t look too old. So when she has these aforementioned moments, they land differently. Now I’m not saying I want show!Claire to be like book!Claire, quite the opposite. I’m glad they cut that other stuff. But now whenever show!Claire has a moment of self-consciousness, all I want to do is be like woman, you are a fucking smokeshow. Fuck the patriarchy for making you feel like you aren’t stunning exactly as you are. #LadyBonerForBeauchamp

Oh Governor Exposition. How nice of you to join our merry band of randos for dinner!

Man, I’d love to be so rich that I can pull a Baron and casually just happen to have 100 pounds on hand to buy a giant ruby at a random dinner party.

John Grey, who was shunted from shit post to shit post, totes is special enough to get Scotland’s Valjean to England’s Javert cleared. I mean, obvi.

Oh hey, Jamie remembers he has a daughter! Showed more emotion in that scene about how America would become her country than in the scene with the photos. Fuck Sam et al. for the disaster of a performance choice in ep. 306, don’t @ me.

OH HAI ROLLO I LOVE YOU YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD DOGGO I WANT TO SNUGGLE YOU WHO’S A GOOD BOY YOU ARE

“I dinna ken. But she’ll be saying it in Scotland, won’t she?” I do love Young Ian a lot. I know that’s in the book. But dammit I love John Bell in this part a crapton.

Casually lol’ing that they crossed the ocean because Ian was taken and now that they have him, they’re just going to send him alone off to sea again.

The first time I saw the episode, when Lesley gave his “my place is at your side” speech I was like crap, we’re going to be stuck with this guy aren’t we. BUT WE’RE NOT! (I am a terrible person.)

Fergus and Marsali are totes going to be the new Jenny and Ian, aren’t they? The characters who just show up once or twice a season when the core squad needs something and that’s it? Because they get tossed aside in the books like that. That makes me super sad (and I hope I’m wrong) because of how they changed show!Fergus and show!Claire’s relationship from the book that we won’t get to see more of them together. Le sigh. I hope they at least let Bree have a scene where she meets Fergus and learns she has a brother. Especially if she’s not going to go to Lallybroch to meet the Murray squad because Jenny isn’t in this season. Part of what I loved about the Lallybroch part in the book was Bree realizing that she wasn’t just gaining a father but a whole extended family. I hope they kind of transfer that over to her meeting Fergus and Young Ian in the place of [insert Murray kids who let’s be honest we really don’t care about here].

Hey remember that time Jamie was wicked opposed to Fergus and Marsali getting married for literally no reason? That was fun. But yay for Germain!

Holy motherfucking green screen, Batman. Please can we get to the woods soon? Or some other location where it’s not this fucking jarring?

Claire America-is-the-land-of-milk-and-honey Fraser suddenly is overly-on-the-nose indignant about slavery. Cool. Cool cool cool. Again, you know what would have been cool? Seeing her with her best and only friend in the 1960s more last season because he was a Black man. If they had let Joe be a fully formed character, navigating racist af Boston as a doctor, rather than just being Claire’s sounding board and martini maker, we could have seen how Claire being exposed to his reality shaped her views on race in America. But nope, that would have taken air time away from Frank’s manpain. (Seriously, my recent re-watch only highlighted just how much they screwed over Claire’s character last season.)

I’ve always loved that Jamie gives Claire the medical box. It’s just such a simple way to demonstrate that he *gets* Claire. (*side-eyes a certain other husband who patently did not*)

Jamie’s bangs are an affront to anyone with hair. Someone please give that man his hat back!

“This ring is all I need.” Aaand that’s when we all knew that Jamie’s ring would be the one stolen.

“Not for a single day.” Uh, *casually points at the episode in season three when she retcons her entire life in Boston to be not as bad as it was because Jamie’s been such an asshat to her*.

Ok. Holy shit this final scene. I love everything about this final scene. Except the song. This show is not subtle. It’s never been subtle. But holy shit, playing the iconic Ray Charles version of America the Beautiful at the end of an episode called America the Beautiful to be like welcome to ‘Murrica, fuckos, is like even less subtle than they usually go. I 1000% LOVE the choice to cut the audio from the end of the fight scene and just have the visuals, it just would have worked much better if they’d scored with with a regular instrumental piece.

Gah, Bonnet is such a smarmy motherfucker! The nose wipe before he coldcocks Jamie is just perf.

Claire’s face in this entire scene, holy fucking shit. *throws all the awards at Balfe*

And then Lesley dies and I’m a terrible person because I’m happy we don’t need to be stuck with him all season. But holy shit Bonnet when he pauses right before he cuts his throat and then kills him, I love show!Bonnet so much more than I ever gave a shit about book!Bonnet.

And honestly, Claire’s face when he’s killed right in front of her. *throws more awards at Balfe*

GUYS I FEEL MORE EMOTION ABOUT CLAIRE TAKING OFF JAMIE’S RING THAN I DID ABOUT CLAIRE LEAVING BREE BEHIND TO GO BACK THROUGH THE STONES HOW IS BALFE SO GOOD AT MAKING ME FEEL FEELINGS

I’m so fucking glad they changed which ring gets taken. There was an interview where they were like “oh we did it because it has to be visually distinct so Bree can get raped!” and I’m like a) fuck you for including that and b) right decision, wrong reason. This is the right reason for the change.

But even as I say that they made the right call in which ring to have stolen, it’s still a fact that they fucking chose to have one stolen at all. The writers and production team decided that Brianna needed to be raped so a ring must be stolen. Because Diana never wrote a character she didn’t want raped and the Outlander producers never read a rape scene they didn’t want to include. Fuck them all very much for that.

Fuck Them Very Much for That, the title of my memoir.

Oh god her face right at the end when she sees that it’s fucking Fred’s ring she’s left with and not Jamie’s fucking murders me.

*THROWS AN ENTIRE TROPHY STORE AT BALFE*

[choicesfanatic86]

TTS:  Part 5 (Liam x MC)

DISCLAIMER:  All characters belong to Pixelberry Studios, except characters unique to my story.  Those belong to me. ;)

PAIRINGS:  Riley (MC) x OC, Riley (MC) x Liam, Liam x Riley (MC) x OC, Olivia x Drake, Bertrand x Savannah, Maxwell x OC SUMMARY:  Will Riley be able to handle the flood of emotions from returning to The Beaumont Estate? TAGS:  @herladyshipxx @theroyalweisme @blackcatkita @devineinterventions2 @hopefulmoonobject @captainkingliam @pbchoicesobsessed @queencatherynerhys @mfackenthal @cocomaxley @crayziimaginations @grapefrults @pessimystic-fangirl

If you want to be added to the tag list, please let me know, and I can update you :)

If you are new to the series and would like to catch up by reading previous parts, please check out my master fan fiction listing.  CATCH UP HERE

Thank you all for the wonderful comments and reblogs. <3 you guys are amazing! I wanted to get this chapter out for you guys, so answering comments/questions took a bit of a back seat today.  I’m so sorry, but I promise I will answer your questions soon.  :) I really hope that you enjoy the next part of Through The Storm.  Part 6 (and maybe Part 7) will likely be released on Thursday. :D Enjoy!!! <3

PART 5:  Unspoken

Riley and Andy wandered through the bustling airport trying to make their way out to the front.  Andy’s pace was quick, hurried even.  Riley’s pace, on the other hand, was much slower, hesitant of being back in Cordonia.   Riley could see the awe and excitement in Andy’s eyes.  After all, she was once in Andy’s shoes.  There was so much for her to take in – a whole new country filled with beautiful new sights, interesting people, and views that she probably had only seen before in pictures.  The old Riley would have probably been excited for her friend.  The old Riley would have relished in showing her around Cordonia, pointing out all of the country’s little secrets.  Instead, all she felt were the butterflies that were making her stomach flip.  She was so composed throughout the flight, but as soon as she had stepped off the plane, an uncomfortable sense of dread hung over her like a rain cloud.  Things had suddenly become very real.  There was no turning back now.

When they finally reached the outside of the airport, Riley began to look around.  Maxwell had said he would arrange for a limo to pick them up when they landed.  It hadn’t dawned on her that there would be a handful of other limos waiting for their fares as well.  

“How are we getting to your friend’s house?”  Andy asked.

“Maxwell said he was going to have a limo pick us up,” Riley replied.  “I just don’t know which of these are ours, “she sighed.

“Hmm,” Andy murmured, her attention shifting to the long row of cars waiting for their fares.  “That shouldn’t be too difficult to figure out in a sea of black limos,” she said sarcastically.

Riley was getting ready to pull out her phone to call Maxwell, when she heard someone shouting her name frantically.

“RILEY!  RILEY!  OVER HERE,” the voice yelled.

“Please tell me that’s not our ride,” Andy whispered.

Riley smirked at Andy.  She grinned widely when she saw that the voice belonged to Maxwell.  He had a sign with him.  Written across the large poster board were bright, colorful letters that spelt out his pet name for her – “LITTLE BLOSSOM.”     When she saw Maxwell, she grabbed Andy’s hand to pull her along, walking toward him.  Maxwell returned her smile when he realized she had seen him, and he instantly ran over to her.  He hugged her so tightly she thought he just might have made her burst.  He swung her around in a circle, so ecstatic to finally see her after all these years. He reluctantly let her go when he realized he had been crushing her shoulders.  He hadn’t changed at all.  She knew as much from their short correspondence before her arrival, but seeing him in front of her, she knew he was the exact same Maxwell she had left two years prior.  He still had his boyish good looks, and he still was as high strung as ever.  He took a step back to get a better look at her.  “Little Blossom, you are a sight for sore eyes. “  If possible, his smile grew even bigger as he looked her up and down.  “And as always, you look perfectly stunning.”

Riley blushed at the compliment.  “I find that hard to believe, Maxwell.  I’ve been on a flight for 8 hours.  I’m sure I must look like a zombie.”

“Well, a little, but you’re still stunning as a zombie.”  He reached for her embrace again, holding a bit tighter than the previous hug.

His attention shifted to Andy who was patiently watching the two long lost friends reunite.  

“Why, hello there.”  He greeted.  “You must be my Little Blossom’s friend. “  

He reached for her hand.  Andy tentatively placed her hand in his assuming that they’d follow typical social protocol and shake her hand.  Maxwell, however lifted her hand to his lips, and placed a gentle kiss to the back of her hand, catching Andy a bit off guard.

“My name is Maxwell Beaumont, and I’m charmed to make your acquaintance.  Any friend of my Little Blossom here is already a dear friend of mine.”  He smiled brightly at her, awaiting her introduction.

“Um, likewise,” Andy looked to Riley, blushing slightly from his formal introduction.  “I’m Andy,” she replied.

“Andy?  Short for anything?”  He asked.

Andy shook her head fervently.  “No, just plain ‘ole Andy.”  She smiled.  “My parents were sort of rebels and wanted to name me something unisex.”

He nodded.  “Well, Andy, shortened or not it’s a very lovely name.”  He eyed the four bags of luggage they shared between them.  “Oh my, I thought you were staying for a few weeks not a few months,” he joked.

Riley punched him lightly on the shoulder.  “Us girls have to be prepared.  You never know what you’ll need when you’re in a foreign country.”

Maxwell motioned for the limo at the farthest corner of the airport’s pick up area to pull forward.  “Let’s get these into the car so that we can head out.  I doubt the security guard there appreciates us taking up valuable pick up and drop off space.”  He jutted his head toward an angry looking security guard who was pointedly waiting for us to move.

“Right then, Maxwell.  Let’s get going.”  She and Andy started to grab their suitcases when she suddenly felt Maxwell’s hand cover hers.

“Don’t move a muscle, Little Blossom.  You’re under the care of House Beaumont now.  You won’t lift a single finger while you’re here.”

Riley chuckled.  “Oh, Maxwell.”

Andy smirked.  “So, I guess chivalry isn’t dead after all.”

Maxwell reddened slightly as he and their driver began to load their luggage into the back of the town car.    The ride to Beaumont Manor was filled with idle chit chat amongst the trio, mostly giving Maxwell some background about their lives in New York and how they met.  Riley had talked about her career, their apartment, how she and Andy met, and of course, she briefly mentioned seeing Paul.  She decided not to go into too much detail just yet as she saw Maxwell shift uncomfortably in his seat at the mention that she was seeing someone.  She knew it had to be hard for him to hear considering his loyalty would always remain with him, but she had hoped, with time, he’d be happy that she was happy.  A part from that single moment of unease, Riley was thankful that things weren’t as awkward as she had anticipated them being.  She was also thankful that Andy and Maxwell seemed to be hitting it off.  She couldn’t imagine a happier feeling than seeing her two best friends becoming friends with one another.

The conversation naturally shifted to talk of the upcoming wedding and how all of House Beaumont was wrapped up in wedding preparations.  Maxwell had explained to both women that they were welcome to attend the various events leading up to the ceremony and reception.  

“Savannah said I couldn’t break dance at the wedding.”  He sighed dramatically.  “I had choreographed a very romantic number as a gift to give them on their wedding day.  Drake had to spoil all the fun and ruin the surprise,” he rolled his eyes.

“Is he serious?”  Andy whispered, side-eying Maxwell.

Riley nodded enthusiastically.  “Oh yes, he’s as serious as a heart attack.”

“The art of break dancing is lost on so many,” he shook his head sadly.  “I guess I’ll have to work it into one of the pre-wedding  parties.”

Andy arched her eyebrows.  “Pre-wedding parties?  Like the bridal shower?”

Maxwell shook his head.  “Oh, there are so many more pre-wedding parties than just the bridal shower.”

Maxwell went on to discuss Cordonia’s wedding traditions and explained that because so many people travel so far to celebrate a new marriage, the betrothed couple turns their wedding celebration into a mini-social season with numerous events leading up to the big day.  Andy seemed intrigued and excited at the thought of it all, but for Riley it left an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of her stomach.  The idea of going through something similar to a social season made her feel sick to her stomach.  As if sensing the worry consuming her, Maxwell put a hand on Riley’s shoulder.

“You don’t have to go if you’re worried about seeing Liam,” he reassured her.

She recoiled from his touch, as she stared at him, a small gasp leaving her lips.  She hadn’t heard or said his name in two long years, and here she was back in Cordonia for not even two hours and the name she had worked so hard to keep unspoken flew out of Maxwell’s mouth so casually as if hearing it didn’t just stab her in the heart.  Then again, what did she expect?  He was the King for goodness sakes, not to mention one of Maxwell’s oldest, dearest friends.  How could she have avoided it really?

“Liam?”  Andy looked between Riley and Maxwell.  “Is that – “

“Yes.” Riley snipped.  “Can we not say his name again, please?”

Maxwell stunned from the sudden change in Riley’s demeanor, pulled his hand back, placing it awkwardly on his lap.  “Of course . . . I’m sorry.”  He looked dejected.  “I wasn’t thinking.”  An uncomfortable silence grew in the back of the limo.  Riley sank back into her shell.

Andy cleared her throat, looking to Maxwell.  “Are there any other wedding guests staying at the house, Maxwell?”

Maxwell gave Andy a small smile – a silent ‘thank you’ for the change in subject.  “Just Drake.  He’s Savannah’s brother, “he explained.  “Savannah wouldn’t have it any other way.  We’re neighbors in the East Wing, he and I.  I don’t think he’s too fond of the room assignments,” Maxwell shrugged.  

Riley nodded as Maxwell explained.  Drake and Maxwell’s friendship had always been a bit tumultuous.  Drake couldn’t be bothered with Maxwell’s inane antics, and Maxwell sometimes found Drake to be too much of a killjoy.  Of course, their friendship had to change and grow stronger because they were going to be family soon.  Riley could just picture Drake’s face when he found out Savannah and Bertrand were getting married and that not only was he getting a brother-in-law in Bertrand, he was getting Maxwell as a package deal.  She’s sure he probably drank a whole bottle of whisky when he realized that he and Maxwell would be together for better or worse.  Her mood couldn’t help but be lightened as she thought about it.

Riley was stirred from her thoughts as Andy rolled down the town car’s rear window.  “Is *that* your house?”  Andy turned to Maxwell, asking eagerly.

“Yes, in all her beauty and glory.  Welcome to the Beaumont Estate, my little blossoms.”  

The limo stopped in the main driveway, and Maxwell hopped out to start unloading their luggage.  Riley looked around the beautiful estate, remembering how happy she felt here.  She thought back to the Beaumont Bash when everything had gone terribly wrong, yet, together they were able to pull off one of the greatest parties in Beaumont history.  They were a family the three of them.  She hadn’t realized until that moment how much her time at the estate hat meant to her. “You live in a freaking mansion?” Andy exclaimed, taking in the sheer architectural beauty and design.

“Well . . . yes.  It’s been in our family for generations.  Beaumont House has a prestigious reputation for being one of the finer houses in Cordonia,” Maxwell stated proudly as he was guiding them to the front door.  

“You sound exactly like Bertrand,” Riley smiled.

“Well, he has trained me rather well,” Maxwell joked, opening the front door.

As soon as he opened the door, he was greeted with loud barking and tap-dancing little paws.  Riley gasped.  “Chance?”

The corgi barked happily to see Maxwell.  He hesitantly started to sniff Riley’s before he laid down in front of her looking to be rubbed.  Riley bent down to oblige him and give him a few good rubs and scratches behind his ears.  Riley looked up at Maxwell wide-eyed.  “You kept him?”

Maxwell nodded, grinning at the corgi.  “Of course.  I knew you were devastated that you couldn’t take him with you back to the states.  Bertrand threatened to disown me for about the thousandth time when I first brought him home, but he got over it.  He always does.  He’s Bertrand.  He’s not happy unless he’s griping bout something.  Plus, how can you stay mad at this adorable little face?”

Andy joined Riley on the ground to give Chance some attention.  “Whose face are you talking about?  Your’s or the dog’s?”

“Well, clearly I was talking about my own, but I suppose Chance’s face is just as adorable,” he laughed.  “Bertrand couldn’t refuse either of our adorable faces.”

“Speaking of Bertrand, where is he?”  Riley looked around the vastly empty foyer.  “I thought he’d be here to greet us.”  Satisfied with his rubs, Chance wandered off toward the other side of the house.

“Not today I’m afraid.  I think Bertrand took Savannah, Bartie and Drake out as a sort of distraction”  He shyly looked at Riley.  “I think Bertrand arranged it that way to give you an opportunity to get settled in and not have to play a game of twenty questions with everyone once they realize you’re back.”  He paused.  “I haven’t told Drake you’re back yet.  I probably should have as soon as you said you’d be coming considering he’s staying here, too.”  Maxwell stopped himself.  “I was worried that if I told Drake, he’d tell Li-“  He paused.  “You know who.”

Riley nodded, thinking about what he had just said.  She hadn’t even thought that Drake staying here at the same time as her would pose a problem.  She was definitely worried about seeing him again, but she hadn’t even thought about the implication that he could tell him that she was here.   “I appreciate that, Maxwell.  I truly do.”  She half-smiled.

“So, I don’t know about you, but I am totally jetlagged.  You think we can drop our stuff off in our room and settle down for the night?” Andy asked.  “I’m sorry to be a party pooper but I’m still on New York time.”

“Of course.  I should have taken you both to your rooms straight away.  Riley,” he questioned, “you remember how to get to your old room right?”  

“I think so,” she smiled

“Excellent, why don’t you go on and get settled in while I give Andy a quick tour of the house.”

Riley nodded.  “Sure.  I could use a nice warm shower and some shut eye.”  She reached for Maxwell’s hand giving it a gentle squeeze.  “Sorry about earlier in the limo . . . as you can tell . . . he’s still a touchy subject for me.”

Maxwell held his hand up and shook his head.  “You don’t have to apologize for anything.  It’s going to take some time getting used to things with you two a part.  I know you don’t like talking about him, so I’m going to do my best to respect your wishes.”  He smiled at her.  “Now, off to bed with you!”

Riley walked up the grand staircase.  The path to her room was second nature to her.  Even though she has been gone for two years, it’s as if her body memorized every step she took in this house.  Once in her room in the West Wing, she dropped her luggage onto the floor.  She unzipped one of the suitcases looking for her PJs.  A warm shower was something she had been longing for since she stepped off the plane, closely followed by a good sleep in her king-sized bed.

After she had showered, she was changing into her PJs when she heard a soft knocking at her bedroom door.  “Just a second,” she yelled.  She threw her PJs on quickly, wrapping herself in a bathrobe as she headed to the door.  “I promise I’m going to bed, Maxwell.  You don’t need to coddle me,” Riley said loudly as she swung the door open.  Her smile faded quickly as she realized that it wasn’t Maxwell knocking on her door.

“Lawson.”  

Riley could feel a knot form in her throat.  She pulled her bathrobe tightly to her body.  She felt her legs start to feel wobbly, gripping the doorframe to steady herself.

“Hi, Drake,” she whispered.

[srbachchan]

DAY 3465(i)

Jalsa, Mumbai                   Sept 22/23,  2017              Fri/Sat 1:00 AM

Looking at my desk strewn with books and paper work and utensils of writing and odds and ends that signify a well worked on table .. astride that oft changed for back comfort chair and seat warmer .. the cranium aloft inside the other cranium searching and devising through very complex machinery what needs to go outside and on to this most noble platform ... THE BLOG ..

The revert in a deep resonant voice comes back through the roof at the moment, indicating a travel from the desk to the other more horizontal layout, cooled and snugged into with soft pillows and covers, languishing and awaiting the owner to come by and put them all at rest ..

But no ..

There is writing to be done ; and thoughts to be portrayed and opinions and discussions initiated - to read and revise and consider ... all in the course of a few hours that the chair or recline permits ..

I cannot fathom why this has come to pass .. this picture of me in the olden days .. days in the films .. early years of struggle and uncertainty, and not in the possession of any proper clothing to wear and look presentable possible hero material .. it never worked .. and it still does not ..

But this is a shirt gifted to me by a dear friend who had just come back from, Tehran, Iran and had brought along for me then, this shirt which I wear for the picture, hoping that it would look presentable enough for a possible entry to a film .. any film .. any role .. just get me a film to work in .. 

There were also many other particles of gifts that came from the same region .. music cassettes in particular - those heavy thick ones that went into a special equipment in the car only .. they were twice as thick in size and in weight than the other traditional cassettes which were very popular for quite some time, until recently, when this massive tidal wave of the internet and .com’s usurped their space and mad e them redundant .. 

All modern inventions have similar habit .. they run the old to the ground and bury them with greater invention and technology ..

Would they do that to humans too ..

I wonder ..

At work on the sets its like a zombied region as masked men and women move about dextrously getting work done, one way or the other .. masked ..? yes masked .. for we have or rather one of the AD’s that are in charge of medical and environ and weather conditions, have been investigating the rapid rise, from the absence register of those that work on Production .. and their research and analysis has found the reason to be, an influx , an invasion, a tidal wave of immense destructive power, a storm more powerful than those that are repeatedly hitting the South West coasts of the US of A ..

THE COMMON COLD ..!!

... and as I devour another palm full of ‘saunfh’, it occurs to me that, the liquids of that devoured ‘saunfh’ are indeed now declared to be of great nutritional value .. so I devour some more .. now this is completely unofficial and does not carry any confirmation medically or from any medical formal institute .. so those disclaimers that follow all documentation these days, are much and have been placed before you ..

So .. right ..

Time for the bed and perhaps a few more pictures from TOH where I shoot day and night .. 

So here are the pictures from the very important YRF production : THUGS OF HINDOSTAN “ .. DAADANNAAA DANA ..

NAAAAAH .. that cannot be done just yet .. ! sorry about that .. 

Amitabh Bachchan

[what-does-one-affects-the-other]

What's your opinion on this robot harry?For me it's so annoying he can't even pretend to be excited for his own tour, his social media presence is such a turn off

Well I’m sort of digging myself a grave with this one, but since I haven’t seen a post I can fully agree with, here we go. Disclaimer, I actually study this at uni. I was the Social Media Manager for the planning and putting together of a fashion show, on all platforms. I just handed in last month a 6-months marketing plan that was based around social media promo. So I do have a bit of knowledge in this area. I am by no means an expert, but this is my future field of choice, so I like to think I’m at least educated.

The situation isn’t as black and white as people have put it so far. All I’ve seen is “he’s horrible at engaging with fans” and “he doesn’t own you shit so stop complaining”. The answer is a very big grey area in which Harry’s actual social media presence fits perfectly in my opinion. First of all, there’s two main templates we studied for marketing purposes this year, Gaynor Lea Greenwood’s promotion suggestions (2009) and Burcher (2013)’s Paid, Owned and Earned media concept. Long story short, the first one is your traditional marketing campaign and the second one relies more on social media and advertising on it. Now, I think Harry’s team went for the more traditional approach, and let me explain why.

Harry started distancing himself more and more from twitter and Instagram ever since the hiatus started.Even before, during OTRA and MITAM promo, most of his tweets were promo stuff, lyrics I’m not sure we fully understand even now, charity work, promoting friends or tweeting about holidays/important days or events. His fan interaction has been low for quite a while, and I’m honestly baffled people are acting like this is news. Looking through his Twitter in 2015, there are some tweets to fans, yes, but they’re very sparse.I counted about 12 in 5 months, most of them in September, when Perfect came out, and around the release of MITAM.His tweets were mostly thanks to fans for various awards and nominalisation, promoting the songs/album, some lyrics and, without fail, after every concert he tweeted a thank you for coming.

It felt more personal than what we have now (tho in all honesty, his tour hasn’t started yet and if we eliminate the OTRA tweets it’s already a different story), but Robot Harry has been a thing then, and people were riding along with it instead of condemning it to the extent they do now.But, the thing is, Harry didn’t have the entire burden of engaging with the fanbase like he has now.Louis, Niall and Liam always took turns in taking the lead in replying to fans and interacting with them, which allowed Harry to do his part and everyone was mostly happy.

And yet, I personally don’t feel this frustration many people feel. I think it’s quite interesting actually. A bold move that wouldn’t work for other artist whose career relies on people who live and breathe social media (maybe Beyonce or Adele, but they are in another league). I was very intrigued by Harry’s statement in the Behind the album video, in which he said that there was a time in his life when people knew everything about him, and he didn’t like it.He has been overexposed since 2012, his personal life splashed across tabloids, fake relationship or not.And now he disappeared for a year (and has been retreating into himself for at least 2) and he wrote this mysterious™ album, trying to see if people can listen and understand it without knowing much about the current him. In this context, having an album that surrounds itself in mystery and then doing 4 Q&As on twitter and 3 livestreams sends…extremely contradictory messages. I can, and will fault his team for presenting a dual image of Harry that sometimes makes 0 sense, for handling a lot of things so poorly, and for the entire Carolina mess, but I will say that his social media fits this old school mysterious rockstar image they’re showing of him. I also think his actual reason is very personal and very real, and I respect the fact that he didn’t compromise this choice he made for promo purposes.

His promo relied on more traditional channels. TV and radio appearances, print magazines, and most importantly, the secret gigs. Now, I’m sorry, but I felt entirely more connected to Harry running across London at 8AM in my pyjamas than by any twitter spree he’ll ever do. I never did this before. This reminded me of the stories my dad told me, of queuing up for days in front of the box office so he’d get the tickets when they went on sale. It was very old school and it worked for me. It was a phenomenal experience, something I will never forget. And he did this for us. All profits went to charity, he didn’t do this for money. And while I know this was for a few selected cities and a handful of lucky fans, it was intimate and it was special and I think everyone, regardless if they were there, or vicariously living through pics and videos, felt a connection to Harry. We got emotional on his behalf when he sang with his idol on stage 2 weeks later, you don’t do that for someone you have no connection to.

Now, the actual reason I’m happy with what we’ve got is that it is genuine from my POV. Liam is the perfect candidate for a comparison, since he also took a bit of a break from social media (not as heavy as Harry’s, but he definitely wasn’t as active as Louis or Niall) and his promo is as textbook as it gets. He slowly, but surely increased his activity since January, a few more tweets, a few more pics on Instagram.A big turning point was April when he posted 13 pics on Instagram, compared to 8 in March, 4 in February and 3 in January. His Twitter went through a similar process.Now, the moment he started posting more, I knew his music was gonna be out soon. It’s pure marketing. You start your campaign weeks before the actual launch, it’s only natural. Unless you want to drop it as a surprise, but that’s another discussion. Actually Harry did it too, with the TV ad, but that was ruined by the info getting leaked beforehand and everyone getting pissed off by that so whatevs. Now, Liam is going for the approachable celeb route. Streams, Instagram stories, snapchat, tweeting fans, loads of pics, videos with popular Youtubers. It’s nice and about as well handled as it gets (apart from that weird video release earlier than it should have been and Liam just generally being a bit…odd?off?idk how to explain it, but a lot of people feel the same way from what I’ve seen). It fits with the image Liam is going for, it aims at the right target audience. He’s not trying to enter a new market like Harry is. He’s consolidating his place in the current market from what I’ve seen (and I’ll admit I haven’t followed his promo as closely as Harry’s). Trying to imagine Harry doing this sort of promo doesn’t really work for me.

Niall has been present on and off social media ever since he came back from his trip last year. Literally, if I pull up the calendars people have been making each month, he doesn’t get more than a handful of days without doing something, so it’s unfair to compare him to the others, since he’s always around and posting and doing stuff.

Louis deserves a better team and I won’t have anyone uttering anything else in my presence, and yet somehow, despite Niall’s constant presence and Liam’s textbook engagement, I’ll never feel as connected to them as I feel to Louis. Louis’ tweets are the perfect mixture of absolutely adorable fan service (“our year” 😭😭) and some of the things he’s passionate about (tv shows, fashion, footie/sports). His promo for JHO was….I have no words for it and I’m gonna have a rage fit if I start thinking about it, but his overall persona is charming and endearing when he’s posting things himself. He created a real communication channel between us and him and he knows how to use it when he needs to send a message (warning selfies anyone?Only you?). There’s an actual analysis of Instagram stats that shows he’s the number 1 male account in engagement and overall likes and that doesn’t surprise me one bit. Louis is a smart businessman, he has a loyal fanbase who is here for him through thick and thin.

And on top of everything I said so far, none of them owe us anything outside the promo bubble. Apart from shoots, songs/albums/tours info and official announcements, they do not owe us anything. If they chose to share a picture from their home, that’s their personal space, and while it’s good for PR, amazingly good in a society that thrives from the feeling of knowing everything about everyone (like what’s your fave’s breakfast and how’s their cat is doing), it’s still a part they can choose to keep private and no one should be entitled to ask for more.

Have you seen Adele’s Instagram? It gives you this illusion of closeness to her, with make up free selfies, funny poses and landscape shots. Too bad literally everything is from touring and other official appearances right? There’s one picture of her home, and that’s to celebrate the end of the tour. Harry sort of did the same with the booklet pictures. He allowed you into his personal space in a controlled manner, just like Adele did. Only he did it in a different way. His promo is just different and you have to think a bit outside the box to see that he actually did a lot of things other artists do. Just a bit differently. Was it perfect?Fuck, no. Was it as bad as many people make it look like?Personally, I don’t think so. It was just different and people are entirely justified to see it as a good or a bad thing. I see it mostly as a good thing. Mostly.